


White Roses

by Mae_Beebea



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan ronpa Goodbye Despair
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - High School, Birthdays, Cutting, Fluff, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito-centric, Hurt/Comfort, Komaeda Nagito Being Komaeda Nagito, Komaeda Nagito Hates Himself, Komaeda Nagito's Luck Cycle, M/M, Nagito is a great writer, Nagito's disease, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Worth Issues, Sick Komaeda Nagito, Suffering Komaeda Nagito, lymphoma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2020-10-19 03:04:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 25,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20650160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mae_Beebea/pseuds/Mae_Beebea
Summary: To put it in plain English, Nagito Komaeda hates himself. He's felt this way for years upon years and at this point, it's routine for others and himself to constantly bring him down. He can also thank those others for always moving him around from school to school for his whole life. Nagito may have the talent of luck on his side, but all that his luck has done up to this point, is make his life a living hell.Hajime Hinata on the other hand, is living the usual domestic highschooler life. Though his mom did leave him and his dad at an early age, he's slowly learned to depend on others to come out victorious. Can he help the new boy learn to depend on him when times get rough?





	1. Goodmorning Hope

Hinata's Pov:

Waking up to the smell of bacon and pancakes is always an amazing surprise. My mouth watered and I slowly made my way out of my rumpled bedsheets. My alarm would go off in a few minutes, so there was no use going back to bed.

I let my feet take me to the kitchen and rubbed my sleepy eyes. Monday came so fast. It seemed like just yesterday we started summer break. Now we're back at school again. I yawned, which got my dad's attention. He was the one responsible for the delicious smells coming through the house.

I sat down at the counter across from him cooking, "So when will the food be done?" I asked politely, trying to maintain my composure, instead of going crazy over the food like *some* people. 

He looked at me as he flipped another pancake, "Any minute now. I suggest you get dressed though first" he grinned, looking at my pajamas. 

"Hey! They arent that bad!" I yelped, defending my fluffy pajama pants and t shirt. The pajama pants had pictures of dogs on them but that was just because all my other pajamas were dirty, and I've had these forever. Dad smirked and raised his eyebrows. I grumbled and got off of the stool, heading towards my room.

I had taken a shower last night so there was no need to this morning, I simply buttoned up my 'summer' school uniform and brushed my hair. My uniform consisted of a white tshirt button up and tie with some lightweight black pants, and dress shoes. This was the standard outfit, yet as long as you had this on you could always add overcoats and such. 

I brushed my teeth and washed my face as quick as I could, revving to go down to breakfast. I practically fell down the stairs going so fast and plopped myself down at the counter, ready to eat the plate of food my dad had set out for me. It consisted of two pancakes, drenched in syrup how I like them and two pieces of nicely cooked bacon. 

I devoured the plate in a couple minutes and placed it in the dishwasher. I thanked my dad and told him I should be off to school. He gave me a quick goodbye as I grabbed my backpack and left.

I roamed the city streets, making my way slowly but surely to the school, spotting other students walking to school, attempting to find any of my classmates. I tried to identify one of them as my friend, but I couldn't find anyone. I sighed and continued walking alone, knowing I would at least see my friends at school. 

Suddenly a pair of arms shoved me then caught me again spinning me around. "Ibuki's here!" The girl shouted. Ah, yes, how could I forget Ibuki lived a couple blocks away from me. "No need to worry about being lonely anymore! I'm here now!"

I chuckled, "Yeah but I could do without the shoving" I told her, continuing to walk in the direction of the school.

She rubbed the back of her neck and smiled, "Of course, Ibuki is very sorry" Ibuki said in a whiny voice.

I just huffed, rolling my eyes in a playful manner. "Anyways, what did you do over the summer?" I asked the colorful girl curiously.

"Oh! Ibuki's summer was sooooo awesome! I went to tons of concerts and even held some of my own!" She said excitedly, her eyes lighting up.

I nodded happily, "That's coo-"

"What did youuuu do over the summer Hajime?!" She yelled.

I blinked for a second, then composed myself. "I stayed home a lot. Not doing much. I just enjoyed the break from school." I told her, shyly smiling.

She grinned, "And that's great too! I love just chillin'!" She said, patting me on the back.

Suddenly she paused, gazing at something in the distance. She put her hand over her eyebrows as if she were a pirate scouring for some treasure. "Oh my my-! Is that Chiaki?" Ibuki asked me, already started to tug me towards the figure.

"Eh? Chiaki-San! Wait up!" I yelled to her, following Ibuki's lead.

"Wha- oh. Hi Hanata-kun and Mioda-San. How was your summer?" She asked politely, smiling warmly.

"Stop calling me Mioda-san!! You know I hate how formal it soundsss!" Ibuki complained, gritting her teeth and clenching her eyes shut. She looked like a child about to throw a tantrum.

Nanami looked taken aback for a second then smiled warmly once again, "Sorry Ibuki. I didnt mean to upset you" she said calmly.

I rubbed the back of my neck, "Well anyway, we should get going ahah.." I told the two girls who had been slowing down.

They nodded to me and we continued to walk and talk our way to school. Occasionally waving to the others in our class that we knew, and even stopping to get a couple words in with the ones that came up to us.

Once we were there, we parted ways and went to our lockers. There had been an open house a few nights before so we had all seen our classes and caught up with each other before school officially started. Well, most of us anyway. I had heard there was a new student transfering this year, but I hadn't seen them at open house. I only saw all the familiar faces of the friends I had know for years.

A slap on the back snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Yo! Hajime! What's up?" I heard a familiar, pink haired boy ask me.

"Oh, it's just you. Nothing much Kazuichi." I told him plainly, getting my folders and such that I would need for my class.

"W-What do you mean 'just you'?? Am I not important anymore??" He suddenly outbursted. I rolled my eyes, not amused by his shenanigans. "Anyway. I have a plan, but I need you to help me with it." He told me, a devilish smile on his face.

I raised my eyebrows, "Let me guess, this is about-"

"Nevermind-San yes!" He said, finishing my incomplete sentence. "I want you to see if you have any classes with her through the day, I'm asking this of everyone in our class. I just need to know where she is when shes not with me! Like, what if Teruteru decides to pull a fast one and I'm not there!!" He said quickly.

"Your plan is super flawed, you'll be in class as well if he does. You cant just spidey-sense it" I told him, slamming my locker.

He stared at me for a second, realizing the flaw in his plan. "Whatever man. Just tell me if you have classes or not, capiche?" He asked me, groaning. 

I nodded and smirked, off to my class. First though, I wanted to stop at the library to see if I could find anyone else before school started. I liked to get here early for school, so I still had about 15 minutes to spare. While in the library I could also look for some reading material for when we had free time in class.

Arriving at the library, my nose immediately took in the smell of both new and old books. The smell of pages being turned and the noise of computer keys clacking. It seems other students had thought to come here aswell and the library had a decent following inside. I walked post the computer lab over to the shelves. My fingers skimmed over a row of books, looking for my favorite genre. Science fiction. Here it is.

I saw some classics I had already read but decided I didnt want to reread anything right now, I want to start something new. My fingertips landed on a hard covered book named 'Farenheit 451'. The title seemed interesting so I pulled it off the shelf. I enjoy picking out books I havent heard of too much about because then it's always a surprise.

I had my book tucked into my side when I saw a curly bunch of white hair move past a certain isle in front of me. Curiosity overtook me as I attempted to follow the student to wherever they were going. I had gotten sight of them from the side when they turned into another isle to look at a book.

It was a boy I could tell, with white curly locks and very pale skin. He had on the standard uniform, but with a sweatshirt type overcoat draped over him. He was about as tall as me but very skinny. And I mean, very skinny. He had grayish eyes that were swimming with curiosity as he scanned through the synopsis of a hard covered novel. The teens lips were slightly parted and mouthing the words as he read, entranced.

His white hair looked soft and fluffy, almost in a puppy dog type way. I was tempted to reach out and touch it..

"Um, sorry to interrupt you but.. you've been staring off for a bit now, are you alright?"

The soft voice made me snap out of my thoughts and make a gasping noise. Shit he saw me, I didnt even know I was staring.


	2. Hello Nagito

Hinata's Pov:

He caught me staring, shit.

Truth is, I didnt even know I was staring. I was just examining the new student, because in honesty he didnt look like anyone I've seen before. I mean, his white curly hair was unusual but very encapturing. It looked like a cloud. 

"Ah- I'm so sorry! I didnt mean to stare!" I said quickly, walking towards him. "I just- your new right? I was trying to see if you were the new student we are expecting" I told him. He visibly relaxed a little bit, but still looked a little tense and worried. I struck my hand out to him. "Im Hajime Hinata"

He hesitantly took my hand and shook it, "Komaeda, uh- Nagito Komaeda" Nagito said quietly. He pulled his hand back and smiled sheepishly. "Farenheit 451 huh? That's a nice book" 

I blinked then smiled back, "You've read it?" I asked, curiously. 

The tall male nodded and chuckled, "Yeah, back when I was a freshman I did, it's kinda interesting. Makes you question what the future will be like.." He gazed off at the books he was facing earlier. 

"Um- Are you looking for something to read?" I asked him.

"I- uh- yes actually." He paused, thinking. "I-I um cant find one I think I'll enjoy yet" Komaeda said sadly.

"Ah! I'll recommend one to you.. Here.." I gazed at the library, already knowing where my favorite book was.

He nodded, "That would be amazing. Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy day to help _me_..." 

I blinked at him before shaking my head and continuing to the other side of the library. I thumbed the books on the mystery shelf carefully, hoping no one had already checked it out. "Aha! Here it is, the name is _In Cold Blood_. Its sort of a murder mystery novel. I hope your into that sort of genre?" I said, handing him the novel.

He widened his eyes, "Thank you so much! I'll be sure to read it then.. I do enjoy this genre of novels. Anyway.. Class should be starting soon.. I didnt come to the open house so I'm going to need to attempt to find my class now" Komaeda said shyly, rubbing his arm. 

He started to walk away from me to check out the book.

"Hey! What class do you have first? I'm sure I can help." I told him, following the lanky boy to the front desk.

He widened his pale eyes once more, "Nonono, you've already helped me enough today. I dont need to waste anymore of your time with petty problems of mine" the boy said, making me confused.

_Why did he think like that of himself? He seems like a cool guy to be around.._

"Please, I want to.. I have Sensei Yamamoto first, who do you have?" I asked curiously, holding him back from checking out his book for the time being.

"Eh? Oh, I have Sensei Yamamoto as well. I suppose I could let you walk me there, since it wont be a big hassle to you.." he said, gazing into the distance and thinking.

"Then its decided, I will walk you to class!" I said happily, handing my book to the librarian to check it out. 

Komaeda followed suit, checking his out and writing the date it needed to be back by in the cover. I smiled at him and started to walk through the library doors, making sure he was beside me. 

Soon enough we reached the class we both needed to be at. Just in time as well. When we walked in only a few seconds later the bell rang.

Sensei came to the front of the room, "For the first day you may chose where you would like to sit. If you behave in these spots I may even let you keep them the school year" she said politely, smiling at us the whole time.

I looked to Komaeda, who was looking around the room lost. His eyes were wide like a deer in headlights but his mouth was set in a firm line. Suddenly he walked to the back corner and sat down alone. I looked at him quizzically but he never returned my gaze.

Making my way back to him, I carefully maneuvered my way around the packed desks and sat to the left of him. "Hi Komaeda-kun" I said, wondering why he looked so scared.

"W-what? Oh.. Its you.. Sorry for not listening. Um, I'd you dont mind me asking, why are you back here?" He said seriously.

I furrowed my eyebrows, "Are we.. not friends? Sorry if you really want to be alone.." 

He shook his head. "I'm terribly sorry, I didnt mean to offend you. I just dont understand why you want to hang out with someone like me" he said, so casually, like it was nothing. Like the fact he just put himself down was nothing. "Also you dont have to add the 'kun'. I'm not into formalities." He finished, looking off to the window.

I blinked, "Oh, okay Komaeda. I'm here cause I think we could be good friends? You seem nice.." I told the white haired boy, suddenly getting the urge to run my hand though the cloud he called hair once again. 

He stared confused, then shrugged. "Okay, thank you then Hinata-kun" 

I frowned, "It doesnt seem right if I dont have to say 'kun' but you do.. hah" I said quietly. 

He looked at me seriously, "Why not? You deserve it."

..._And you don't?_...

"Oh, okay.." I said quietly once more and turned my attention to the front of the room. 

The guy was peculiar. Kinda weird..  
I understood that Ibuki didnt like adding honorifics onto people's names that she knew but, Komaeda?

I had only just met this guy and he already was saying he didnt deserve it.. I think I should talk to him about it, or at least if theres something wrong I can talk to him about that. He probably won't trust me considering we just met but..

I can invite home to sit with me at lunch today? Considering it's nice out.. I could invite him to go eat with me under the trees? That's where I always eat, is under a shady patch of trees that provide shelter from the sun but allow a nice breeze to flow through them.

I looked around the room for Soda, at his request. I signed, seeing no sight of Ms Sonia anywhere. At least I was a good friend for checking, right?

I looked up at the front of the room and saw Sensei started to talk about our summers and what we would be doing in this class. However, I couldnt help but catch myself keep trying to look back at Komaeda.

It seemed like there was some magnet forcing my eyes to keep staring off, to keep zoning out towards him. Finally, I felt a gaze on the side of my neck. "Hinata-kun?" I heard a small voice ask. "Is everything alright? You seem to be staring off.." he said, trailing off.

"Eh? Oh I'm fine. Just tired is all" I told him, gazing wistfully at his concerned face. He unfurrowed his eyebrows and had a small look of relief on his face. 

"Oh, that's good, just making sure is all" He said before turning back to the front. Being this close to him, I could nearly taste what he smelt like. Coffee and ocean water.. with a hint of mint or something fresh. The smells of sweet and clean went through my nose and to my brain, making me smile slightly. He smelt good, really good.

Suddenly, a loud bell burst into my thoughts. Komaeda stood up silently, glancing me. "Um, what class do you happen to have next, Hinata-kun?" He asked me gently, seeming to be gathering his thoughts.

I glanced at my schedule ontop of my binder, "Ah, English 11.." I said quietly with a quick smile. 

He frowned, "Looks like I'll need to find someone else to walk me to class.." he said, starting to walk away. 

"Hey Komaeda wait a minute!" I said, getting him to stop.

"Hmm. What is it?" He asked, cocking his head.

"Well I wanted to ask you.. Would you like to eat lunch by myself and Nanami-San today? Some of my other friends may be there too.. It would be a good chance for you to meet our class" I told him, giving him a comforting smile.

He looked surprised, then guilty and insecure, "Well.. I feel like it may not be polite of me to intrude on your friends when I havent met them.." komaeda trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck.

"No! Definitely not!" I paused, thinking of a reasoning for him to come "Uh in fact, I think it would be impolite of you _not_ to go after being offered!" I said, not 100 percent believing myself but hoping to get him to join us.

Somehow, his eyes got even wider, "I'm so sorry! Ill definitely go if it makes you guys happy.. I just dont want to be some stranger that's intruding on you guys!" The white haired boy explained frantically. 

I smiled gently, "Hey, I was only joking.. but thank you for agreeing. I'm sure it will be fun!" I told him reassuring, tilting my head back and letting a light laugh escape me.

He nodded simply, "Uh, Hinata-kun? You dont have to take me there but.. Do you know where my next class is? Its statistics.." He asked me, with a confused and concentrated expression on his face.

"Ah, yeah of course. So you need to go down the hallway to the commons but before you reach the commons, take a right into another hallway. It should be the second classroom on the left!" I told him confidently.

Nagito grinned wide and started on his way, whispering a small thank you before leaving..

I need to get going to my next class though..

<>

When the bell for lunch rang after what seemed like forever, I dashed into the hallway excitedly. I knew Chiaki would meet me under our usual spot, so I didnt bother to check for her. First, I needed to see if Komaeda was making it to the outside fields okay. 

I made a quick stop at my locker to grab my lunch that I had packed the night before. Suddenly, I was greeted with a curly mass of hair in front of me. 

It was Komaeda.

"Hinata-kun! I'm glad I found you.. I've been wandering the halls for a couple minutes.. I cant find where the doors to the courtyard are heh.." he trailed off, looking embarrassed. 

I smirked at the pale teen, "Its all good Komaeda.. I wouldnt be able to find it on my first day either. Just come with me. The others may be there already" 

Komaeda nodded, following me at my side. "So how were your first classes of the day Hinata-kun?" He asked curiously, taking me aback for a second. I didnt expect him to ask, everyone's first day is always the same 'good. Boring' yknow?

"Oh. They were alright, kinda boring. Just because it was all introductions and crap" I said.

He nodded once again, looking like he was thinking about something else.

"Uh, how were yours?" I asked him nervously, I hated small talk.

He looked over at me confused, "Why do you wanna know?" He shot me a glare.

"H-huh?"

"Oh, sorry! Um, good eheh. Same as yours y'know. Boring" he quickly said, probably trying to make me forget about what he had just said. 

I said a small 'ok' and continued on. Opening up the door and heading outside with Komaeda at my heels. "What did you.. bring for lunch?" I asked, trying to resolve the awkward silence between us.

He looked surprised then smiled, "Eh.. I just brought a pastry cause I went to the donut shop for breakfast this morning, I got two.." he said, looking around the courtyard. "What about you?"

I showed him my bento box type lunchbox, "Just made a pbj last night and some fruit" I told him, also searching for my friends.

Suddenly a pair of arms wrapped around me excitedly "HAJIMEEEE!!" I heard a loud voice scream. "Where were you??? Who's this????" Ibuki said confused.

"I'm sorry for not introducing myself. I am Nagito Komaeda, pleasure to meet you." Komaeda said formally.

Ibuki's eyes lit up, "Ooooh! A new student huh? I heard about you!" She said, basically bouncing on the backs of her heels. Suddenly she tackled him in a hug, making him yelp and fall to the ground. "AAAA! Ibuki is very sorry!"

"P-please get off of me.." Komaeda said weakly, currently being pinned down by Ibuki.

Suddenly the others rushed over, "Who is this?" Nanami said curiously. "Ibuki, please get off of him. Hes clearly uncomfortable" she said sternly. 

Ibuki got up and brushed herself off, still grinning like a maniac. Nidai looked disgruntled, "Here, take my hand! A true man knows when to ask for help!" He said loudly, laughing and sticking out his hand for Komaeda.

Komaeda looked overwhelmed by the sight of everyone, "t-thanks I suppose." He said quietly, taking Nidai's hand. 

Nidai hoisted him up with no effort, "You are quite light! You must keep track of what you're putting into your body! That's the only way we can improve!" He said, like the true chad he is.

Akane nodded ecstatically, "Hes right y'know? Your scrawny and could easily be taken out! What do you say to sparing with me! If you win I'll let you touch m-" 

"Guys enough.. hes overwhelmed already, I would be too.." I said quietly. 

Akane just sighed and shook her head, "Whatever."

Nagito looked around confused, "Uh so. I'm the new student Nagito Komaeda. Pleasure to meet you all.." he said, copying his small greeting from earlier.


	3. Invitation

We all looked at the white haired boy for a second, wondering how he recovered so quickly from being tackled. Suddenly Chiaki piped up, "Hi, I'm Chiaki Nanami. It's nice to meet you too, Komaeda-kun" she said sweetly. Chiaki probably had the most brain cells out of all of us, so no wonder she spoke.

Byakuya was next, "Hello. I am Byakuya Togami." He said simply before turning back to his lunch.

Then, we all went around introducing ourselves politely which wasnt like this group at all. We normally were all rowdy and loud, but it seemed we all knew for the time being we should be on our best behavior. The last person to introduce themself was Ms Sonia.

"Pleasure to meet you Komaeda-kun. I am Sonia Nevermind, I am a transfer student so please excuse my english if it is subpar.." She said with a small smile, I could see Soda staring at her the whole time. 

Everyone was back to doing their own thing and eating their lunches, chatting the whole time. "If you dont mind me asking, where are you from?" Komaeda asked her, true curiosity shown on his face.

"Oh! I am the princess of the Novoselic Kingdom" Nevermind stated simply, like it was no big deal she was a princess.

Komaeda's eyes widened, "S-sorry! I didnt know... I'm sorry you had to be in the presence of someone like me.." He said sadly, looking away ashamed. 

Nevermind looked confused, "What do you mean? I dont look down on anyone just because I am a princess" She stated with care in her voice. Komaeda nodded, still looking away. 

"Sorry, I just.. Assumed you may be-"

"Snobby like most royalty? Yes, I do get that a lot. I do not respect royalty who look down on others because they are not royalty, it is very rude"

"Oh. That's good to know I suppose.." Komaeda said quietly, taking out a donut from his backpack. 

Nevermind nodded happily and went back to conversing with the other girls. Komaeda walked away from the large group and sat down under a tree a little ways away. "Eh? Komaeda?" I asked, walking over to him and sitting down. "Why'd you come over here?"

"Its just as I thought.. I'm just an intruding stranger.. I couldnt get the memo Nevermind-San was a princess and I made myself look stupid. Heh, well at least it's a fitting picture for me" he muttered, taking a small bite from his donut. 

I took a bite of my sandwich, "What do you mean? You dont look stupid. We all did the same thing when we first met her.." I told him, glancing over at the others. 

"...I know you want to go join them Hinata-kun. Go talk to them, I wont weigh you down and make you be in my presence more than you already have to.." the boy beside me stated in a small voice. "I promise I'll be fine. They probably all missed you over the summer." He gave me a weak smile.

I checked on my breath for a second then nodded, "Yeah. Okay. See you in a bit then" I told him, getting up and heading over to the others. I glanced at Komaeda one more time and saw him take another small bite out of his donut and bring his knees up to his chest a bit more, resting his elbows on them. From this far away, he looked tired, like he could fall asleep any minute.

Nanami came over to me first, "Hey Hinata. How have you been? It feels like a while since I saw you this morning" she asked me, eating a couple chips out of her lunchbox. 

I smiled back at her, "Its all been good. Nothing too hard on the first day, y'know? What about you?" I asked.

She nodded, "Same as you. Not much has been going on. So.. What is wrong with Komaeda-kun?" She said, glancing over to where he sat, staring off at the sky. 

"Hmm. I'm not sure he just seems overwhelmed I think.." I said.

"Oh.. Okay, hey. Did you hear about the freshman who is inviting people to his house this weekend? For like, a party?" She asked.

"No.. why are they doing that?"

"Well, I assume it's because they want to get well known around the school since their a freshman. I'm not sure though.." she paused, "But that's not the point.. Do you wanna go to the party?"

"That depends on how many people are going.. You know my dad wont let me go if theres a chance of drugs or alcohol being there.." I told her sadly.

"It _is_ a freshman party Hinata. If anything, there will be some punch and pretzels" she said with a small smirk.__

_ _"Hmm. But, wait, if it's a freshman party, how do you know about it? And why would we go?" _ _

_ _"Well, that's the only thing I'm not sure about, I dont know how many people from each grade are going. Because they told at least a few people in every grade, just so the invitation goes further. So when I say it's a 'freshman party' I kinda just mean a freshman is the one hosting it.." she stopped again, "But you wanna come, right? And you should invite Komaeda. I'll tell the others" Nanami said as she walked off without letting me get a word in._ _

_ _ _Sure it would be fun.. but if theres so many different grades going, then wont it get out of hand? Nanami never even told me what day or time it's at.. I assume a friday but..___ _ _

_ _ _ _"Hey Komaeda!" I yelled as I walked over to him, "How would you feel about going to a party? A freshman is hosting one and I think it may be a good chance for you to become adjusted with our class" I told him._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _His gray eyes widened in surprise, "Inviting me? To a party? Well.. I'm honored but-"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Before you finish that sentence let me tell you this: I can stay and hang with you at the party and if you ever really want to leave I will walk you home. Okay?" I asked him, hoping that would get him over the fence of his decision. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He gazed upwards towards the sky, which was very blue with minimal clouds today. "I.. I suppose I could.. Maybe it will be fun afterall?" Komaeda said, looking over at me happily. He clasped his hands together then smiled. "Just tell me where and when to meet you and I'll be sure to do it!"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Hah, I'll have to get back to you on that. I dont even know where it is or when" I told him, "But it will be fun, I'm sure.."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He smiled once more and looked towards the sky, losing focus. "Hey! I just got a text about the party" I heard Nanami say excitedly. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _I stared at her confused, waiting for the pink haired girl to go on. She cleared her throat and read, "'Hey Nanami, just wanted to let you know my party is at 8 on Friday after school. If you want you can bring snacks or something, you can.'"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _I nodded along, looking to Komaeda to see his reaction, "Ah, seems like I have no reason not to go now.." the boy said, smiling gently._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _I grinned back, "I'll pick you up, then"_ _ _ _


	4. Before Party

Hinata's POV

The rest of the week went smoothly, the days mixing together like a blur and soon enough it was over. It was friday. The day of the party. 

To be honest, I was a little nervous about said party. My stomach had a small pit, but I didnt know why. It wasnt like I had never gone to a party before. I mean sure, it's not like I was super extroverted and would throw them myself but.. all in all, I had no reason to be worried..

_Maybe it was because of the new student, komaeda.._ I thought to myself quietly as I walked down the street to my house. Komaeda said to pick him up on my way to the party and had given me his address. It was scribbled on a small piece of ripped notebook paper in rushed handwriting. Though it wasnt quite chicken scratch, the handwriting was quite sloppy. All his lines seemed to flow into each other which would sound aesthetically pleasing unless you were actually attempting to read it. 

I squinted and tilted my head, deciphering the lead markings in my brain. Once I thought I had finally read it, I unlocked my front door and stepped inside. The party didnt start for a few hours, so I was going to get changed out of my school uniform first. 

Not being sure of what the attire at the party would be, I decided to play it safe. I put on some light jeans and a dark button up. I didnt bother tucking in the shirt, but if the party attire was more formal when I got there, then I would. 

I decided to stick with some normal sneakers, not wanting to put up with the hassle of dress socks. I combed through my hair and looked into the mirror.

_Not too shabby Hinata..._

I checked my phone to see if Komaeda had texted me but when I saw he hadn't, I texted first. 

Hinata: Hey Ko, you getting ready?

Pressing the send button, I immediately saw he read it. Maybe he was about to text me as well..

Komaeda: Yes. What do you think the dress code will be?

Hinata: I just wore a semi-formal casualish outfit haha

Komaeda: I see.. I'll see you soon

And that was the end of it. Komaeda wasn't a very confident texter I had learned throughout the week. He was formal and didnt seem to know you could abbreviate things.

I checked the time, _ only six _.. I still had an hour or so to spare. 

Hinata: Wait Komaeda, if you're ready, do you wanna go get something to eat beforehand?

I sent the message, my thumbs tapping the keyboard anxiously, then tapping against themselves as I waited for him to respond. I few minutes later, he did.

Komaeda: Sure, where would you like to go?

Hinata: Theres a couple cafes around my house, I can pick you up?

Komaeda: That would be great, thank you so much.

And it was decided. I took one last look at myself in the mirror before hopping into my car. I hated driving to be honest, but this was a special occasion. I only drove when I was doing something for enjoyment or on a special occasion. Driving to places like school seemed to be too much of a hassle. 

I turned my key in the ignition and softly smiled as I heard the engine roar on. The radio connected with the bluetooth on my phone and started playing my playlist. The first song on already boosted my mood. _Mr Brightside_

I chuckled to myself happily and turned out of the driveway, down the street. I held Komaeda's address in my hand as I attempted to maneuver down the roads. Finally, after a bit of confusion and getting lost, it seemed I was finally there.

I honked the horn on the car to let him know I was here, and I waited. After a few seconds, the white haired teen came bursting through the front door. He was wearing a light blue knit sweater, which had a turtleneck type collar line. The cuffs were long and had thumb holes, which he was currently using I saw as he waved to me. He wore dark jeans, with small rips in the knees, barely noticable. His usual zipper shoes were on.

He opened the passenger door enthusiastically, "S-sorry I was late!" He said, huffing.

_Was he really already out of breath from that little run?_

"What do you mean? I just got here" I said.

"Oh.. I assumed you had been waiting a long time, sorry Hinata-kun" he said with an apologetic smile. 

"Its really okay.. So is there anywhere in particular you want to go?" I asked him.

Komaeda looked at me confused, "I just moved here, Hinata-kun. How would I know what places to eat there are?" He said.

"Oh! Yeah sorry. Uh, well I like this one place that serves ramen. It's pretty good" I told him, listing off the first thing that popped into my head.

"Then we'll go there!" Komaeda said happily. "Thank you again for bringing me.." 

I nodded, turning up the radio and smiling at him, I rolled down the windows and started to back up. Komaeda looked genuinely happy, it was a good look on him. The radio blared some new pop song and I sighed happily, drumming my fingers against the wheel.

The open windows sent air through the car, making Komaeda's hair fly crazily but in a funny way. It seemed fluffier and thicker when the wind was blowing through it. I could smell the last bits of summer in the air as we cruised down the streets. Salty air from a nearby beach as well as fresh pollen and leaves.

Komaeda seemed to notice his hair and laughed, then started to sing along to the radio in a small voice. I noticed him and started to sing along as well. 

We both got louder as the song continued, our confidence boosting in the other. When the song came to a close Komaeda chuckled, pulling his sleeve over this mouth. "That was fun.." he said quietly.

I nodded, "mhm. Were almost at the place now.." I told him, trying to find a parking spot. 

When I found a spot I carefully pulled the car in, then opened my door. Komaeda followed suit and I locked the doors when he was out. Then we entered the shop, grinning at each other from the delicious smells wafting through the doors. "It smells like heaven.." I said to no one in particular.

Komaeda nodded, "Yeah, I can't wait." He told me as he opened the large metal door in from of him. 

*Timeskip to when they're done eating*

"Uhgg.." I said quietly, slouching in the wooden chair I was sitting in. "I. Am. So. Full." I said slowly, trying to cope with the feeling in my stomach. I was _too_full and it hurt..

Komaeda looked at me curiously, "Why did you eat so much then, Hinata-kun?" He asked me, genuinely curious. I still wondered how he only ate a small bowl of noodles and broth.

"I dunno. It was just too good.." I said, starting to clean up my spot for the waitress. She brought the check and Komaeda and I split it. He had offered to pay for it all, but I eventually persuaded him to go half and half. 

We left happily and got back into the car. "The party starts soon, so we should get going.." I told him as I started the car, pulling up the address Chiaki had texted me a couple hours ago. 

Hinata: On our way

Chiaki: 'our'?

Hinata: I'm bringing Komaeda. Remember?? 

Chiaki: oh yeah, I'll be there soon enough too. See ya soon

I smiled, putting the car into reverse and looking through the back window so I didnt hit anything. Komaeda seemed to be very silent in the car, which made me very grateful. Some of my friends always talked and tried to get my attention when I drove, which always ended in me yelling at them like they were 3. 

Mimicking our last drive, I turned the radio up and rolled down the windows, Komaeda glanced over at me and smiled. "I really like hanging out with you Hinata-kun.." he said, gazing down at his shoes.

I blinked once, "Me too, Ko.." I said, taking a quick glance in his direction. I saw a ghost of a smile on his lips. His cheeks were red. Had he never hung out with someone before?

"You give me.. lots of hope. Like something good is about to come my way" he said, his voice barely a whisper.

"I- me too.."

"I've been meaning to ask. Why do you call me Ko?" He asked, doing a small head tilt out of confusion.

"Because.. well, I think you're my friend, right? That's what friends do.." I told him, wondering why he didnt know how nicknames worked.

"I see.. you consider me your friend, Hajime-kun? Thats.." he trailed off, I glanced towards him once more to see he was burying the bottom half of his face in his sweater collar and looking away. "I- this may not come as a surprise to you but.. I've never had many friends.. No one really.. likes me I assume. So, thank you.."

I didnt know how to respond, he really never had friends? 

I felt a little bad for him, he seemed like a great guy so I didnt know why no one would be friends with him..

"Oh. You dont need to thank me, it's nice to be your friend.." I told him, half focusing on driving still. My phone buzzed.

"Eh? Oh.. do you want me to read you what they texted?" Komaeda asked me quietly.

I nodded, "yeah, please"

"Its from a group chat, uh.. Nevermind-san asked who was all coming and some people said 'I am'... Um, Nanami-san said she was bringing caprisuns hah.. Uh, and Soda-kun sent some weird picture of his face but really blurry.." 

"Oh yeah! Sorry I forgot, I've gotta add you to that group chat. It's our class hah.. So you can do it.. just press add to group and type your phone number." I told Komaeda.

He did what I said and smiled when he figured it out. 

Teruteru: Should I bring some dishes for the party ;;)))

Chiaki: I dont think it's that type of party.. also what's with the faces

Teruteru: Oh.. sad. Whatever, I'll bring food anyway

*Nagito joined the chatroom*

Kazuichi: Oh, what's up man?

Nagito: Hi, Hajime-kun said I should add myself to this chat.

Sonia: Well, hi! :)

I looked over at Komaeda and saw him smiling as he typed on his phone. I think hes fitting in with us really good..


	5. The Price of Partying

Komaeda's Pov

So.. A party, huh? I sighed, glancing out the window of Hajime's car. The glass reflected my face back at me, making me stiffin a bit and look further in the distance. The busy buildings blurred past as the car shot through the streets. I heard Hajime groan quietly.

"Anything wrong?" I asked him, not bothering to pick my head up off the window but taking a small gaze in his direction. I heard the fabric of his clothing shuffle as he sighed and began speaking.

"Yeah it's all good; i'm just kinda tired of driving.." He told me, not taking his eyes off the road.

I nodded to myself, bringing my elbows up to the window and resting my head on them, "Ah, I see.. I would help and drive but.. I do not have a driver's license hah." I told him truthfully, offering am apologetic smile when he glanced in my direction. 

He just let out a small grunt of understanding and jerked his chin. I decided to pay attention to the surroundings and stop bothering him, "Oh wait.. We're here" he said slowly, furrowing his brows as he maneuvered around the tight packed neighborhood. He pulled into what I presumed was the correct driveway as I sat up and straightened my outfit. 

"Do you think there will be many people?" I asked Hinata-kun, looking at the many cars lining the driveway. 

He simply frowned, shrugging. "I honestly hope not, otherwise it'll just be really hot and packed.." he muttered, locking the car doors as we stepped out of his vehicle. 

I gasped when we took a few steps forward, surprised they hadn't already gotten a noise complaint. The music was blaring so loud you could hear it halfway down the driveway. 

They were playing some new pop song, maybe even an idol song. Whatever it was, it seemed to be very repetitive and I was already regretting not bringing ear plugs. I shaked the bitter thoughts away from my mind, catching up with Hinata-kun quickly.

"So.. Do you see anyone you know yet?" I asked the male in front of me loudly, needing to raise my voice to even be heard in this atmosphere.

He took notice to my thought and looked around the room. "Well, doesnt look like it yet.." he paused "But there is a whole backyard so they may be there.." he finished, shoving his hands into his pockets and leading me through the crowded living room.

It smelt like multiple types of alcohol already and I felt bad for the poor freshman that would have to clean this up. The room was extremely dark too, making only faint outlines of people able to be seen from phone lights. Suddenly, a hand grasped my upper arm. "NAGITO!" I heard someone yell making me flinch back and take a step away.

Their hand softened and I saw Hinata-kun turn around. "SORRY TO SCARE YOU! ITS IBUKIIII!" The person who grabbed my arm yelled. 

"Its alright Ibuki, have you seen the others?" I asked the girl in front of me. 

"Hmmm.." She thought, placing a finger on his chin. "Ah! Yeah! I saw Byakuya by the snacks when I first came in.. and I saw Kazuichi and a few others headed to the backyard.." Ibuki shouted. "We should go to the backyard to find them!" she said, suddenly breaking into a dash with Hinata-kun attempting to follow her. 

I wasnt very bold in social situations so I soon got very behind the two, not wanting to shove past the other people. I also suddenly realized I had no clue where the doors to the backyard were as well as any idea to where Ibuki and Hinata-kun went.

Glancing around the room, I eventually found the snack and drink table, my heart sped up, hoping at least Byakuya would be there. Then I would at least see a familiar face. Calmly, I walked to the table, getting a solo cup full of punch after inspecting it to be sure there was no alcohol in it. There wasnt. I hated drinking, and I wished there wasnt any alcohol at this party but.. oh well.

I saw a large blob of white in the corner of my vision, and started running over to it, "Togami-kun?" I asked the person. 

They turned around "What?" he seemed annoyed but suddenly his face softened, "Oh Komaeda-kun. Something wrong?"

He must have seen the scared look on my face and I attempted to look less frightened, "Um well I was here with Hinata-kun and I lost sight of him.." I left out the part about Ibuki and him running off. 

He shook his head, "Nope. You're welcome to stay with me till you see them again though" he offered. 

I nodded, "Thanks. Is the food any good?" I asked, trying to make conversation. 

"its so-so.. Teruteru better get here soon because stale pretzels and chips arent very good.." he said with a hint of disgust in his voice.

I laughed, taking a sip of the punch, "Hinata-kun and I got ramen before coming here, I'm glad I'm not hungry then" I said, relishing in the fruity taste of the juice. 

He nodded, "Do you dance?" he asked me, glancing over at the crowd of people sweating, moving with the music. 

I pursed my lips and shook my head, "No. And the music is way too loud to be honest" I told him.

Byakuya stared at me for a second then stood up. "You look depressed. Cmon" He said, walking to the dance floor.

I took my drink with me and followed, smiling slightly at his attempt to cheer someone like me up.

We danced for a good 10 minutes before it got too hot. The cluster of people radiated too much body heat and left us sweaty. But to be honest, it was a little fun.

Byakuya sat down huffing, "Well was that alright?" he asked me.

I nodded, taking a sip of my punch to help my thirst. It tasted bitter and a bit sour but I assumed it was from the little bit of swear that may have gathered on my top lip. I wiped my face and smiled. "Yeah, thanks for that.. To be honest, I think I may go try to find Hinata-kun now.. Thanks for cheering me up Byakuya" I told him.

He waved me off with a 'no problem' as I chugged down the rest of my punch, which somehow still tasted bitter but it helped with my thirst.

Placing my empty cup on the counter, I started to look around for the backdoor. Eventually, I caught a glimpse of people shuffling towards a certain area. I walked with the rest of the people and found the door, feeling the cool night breeze hit my face. Suddenly I could see much better, the moon and natural lighting letting my eyes see more then just faint outlines of things. 

I looked around and eventually found a pretty large group of people. Walking closer I heard the voices of my fellow classmates. I first heard the sound of Hinata-kun. "I cant find him! I texted him like 3 times too, I'm worried, this party is pretty big and I know some of the people who came probably are drunk or something.."

Was he talking about... me? Suddenly I was reminded that I had a little magical device on my person called a cellphone that I hadn't bothered to check. I pulled it out of my pocket and sure enough, saw I had missed texts from Hinata-kun as well as one missed call.

Nanami-san piped up next, "Ah I see.. Well he must have gotten split up from you at some point and you didnt notice."

"Yeah but it's been 15 minutes! I dont know when or where I lost him" 

"It'll be oka-"

"H-Hi Hinata-kun.." I said, accidentally interrupting Nanami-san.

I tensed my shoulders, squinting my eyes and preparing for some sort of blow because of my behavior. 

Hinata-kun's eyes widened and soon everyone else turned to me. I shrunk back further, "I uh. I'm really sorry that you got worried about me. I promise I wont do something like that ag-"

I was interrupted my Hinata-kun stepping forward to clap a hand on my back, most likely in relief of finding me. I flinched away when he raised his hand and took a step back, making him accidentally just hit me in the arm. 

I took in a quick breath, "Sorry um" I suddenly felt the need to change the subject "I found uh Byakuya and talked to him because I couldnt find you"

The group just looked surprised then relaxed, "Oh! Ibuki is so so sorry she got you split up from us! It was just so dark in there!" Ibuki told me, her eyes wide and over dramatic.

"Why didn't you just try to find us earlier? God, it's almost like I can't even trust you boys anymore" Koizumi-San said, putting her hands on her hips and sighing.

Saionji-San looked at me upset too. "Its like your just as incompetent as Mikan" she said, cocking her head to the side and staring up at me. Though I was probably over a foot and a half taller then her, she still attempted to be menacing it seemed. Her words though, did in fact make her seem bigger. 

My hands shook without me realizing it and for a second I was scared. I took a step back, "s-sorry" I said.

"stop." I heard a soft voice say, quiet yet stern. It was Nanami-san. "Komaeda-kun didnt know where Hinata-kun went. It isnt his fault. You dont need to argue because of this. Just have a fun time, we're at a party, afterall" she finished, putting a hand on her chest and softly smiling.

The tension in the group about disappeared but my shaking didn't. I willed myself to ignore it.

"Yes, now stop fighting and let us go sit around the bonfire! The chairs seem to be empty, waiting for us" Nevermind-san said, commandingly. The group shuffled over and I suddenly realized a few people did not come. There was no sign of Pekoyama-San, Tanaka-kun, or Kuzuryu-kun, anywhere. I may have seen Akane dancing and Teruteru was coming late with the food but that still left me wondering where the others were. 

Our group sat chatting with each other peacefully as I sat back in my seat. The fire was warm against my face and it relaxed me. The others talking was just background noise and I tried to focus on the sound of the fire crackling. It was a nice sound, accompanied by the faint chirps of crickets and buzz of faraway bugs. 

"Nagito? You asleep?" I heard someone ask to the right of me. I turned to face them.

I attempted to say no but my head buzzed and no sound would come out my throat. I sat up very slowly and tried to speak once again. "I- dont feel very goo-" I said, my speech slurring together as I tried to figure out what was happening.

My eyelids drooped and through my lashes I could see the group staring at me with worry. Suddenly it clicked, the bitter tasting drink, what I was feeling now, it came together. I was drugged. 

"Hinata-kun.. Someone.. They- P-put somethin' in my.. d-drink.." I sputtered out, trying my best not to fall asleep. I stood up, not sure what I was going for, but i wanted to stand. Maybe to get sobered by touching the ground more.

My vision swam and i saw dark spots. Suddenly, the ground came at me and i felt myself hit it. The grass tickled my face as I heard yelling from my friends, it was just background noise though. 

I hadn't heard much from Nidai-kun but suddenly, he was all I could see. I was no longer on the ground but in his arms, he was carrying me, most likely so I wouldnt fall trying to get up. I heard someone scream, which was also probably Nidai-kun. He was demanding whomever had done this to come forward.

The other people on the lawn just stared, confused before returning to their chatting sessions. Suddenly we were moving and going through the house. Next, I was in Hinata-kun's car in the passenger seat, alone. I shakily reached for some water bottle I found and sipped it, spilling some on my sweater. From my right, I heard tapping on the window.


	6. After the Party

Hinata's POV

I found myself clenching my fists as I looked around the house which was now in a stunned silence. No one would come forward and no one was being pointed out either. Nidai-kun was furious something had happened to a friend of his, even if he had only known him for a week.

"Hajime, you should probably just take Komaeda home at this point. I'll find the bastard that did this" Nidai-kun said to me, his fists also clenched in a sweaty rage. I nodded briefly and made my way out to the front lawn, where the smell of alcohol and sweat suddenly vanished. 

A few teens were laying across the lawn, rolling around in a drunken stupor and giggling. Carefully, I made my way past them to my car. I was ready to get in and leave but what stopped me was someone tapping on the passenger window. 

"Teruteru?" I asked questioningly.

He swiveled around and the look on his face was far from pleased. "Oh! Hajime. What's.. wrong with Komaeda?" he asked me, his eyebrows knit together in a concerned way.

I took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. I drug my fingers through my hair, "Well uh, someone put something in his drink. He was having trouble staying awake or even standing so.. we're leaving."

Teruteru looked almost as mad as Nidai-kun for a moment. Rage briefly flitting across his face. Suddenly, I noticed all his dishes were next to him placed on the ground. "Oh... thank god it's you that owns this car. I thought someone drugged him and was going to take him home to uh... do bad things" he sighed "Good good, it's only you"

The shorter teen closed his eyes for a minute, his slumped shoulders contrasting his usual personality. "I know I may seem like the kinda dude that would be into something like this or make jokes about it but... God, one of the only reasons I dislike parties is for this specific reason. Hajime, man, I was truly scared there for a minute"

Even though Teruteru had only known Komaeda for less then a week, he seemed to have a deep compassion about this. I gave him an apologetic smile. "Sorry about all this. I hope you can find a way to still enjoy the party. I'm gonna bring Ko to his house and hope hes alright by tomorrow. I'll keep the class updated."

Teruteru gave me a brief smile, picking up his dishes. "Thanks Hajime, glad to know your one of the good ones" he said as he walked away. 

I raised my eyebrows, what did he mean by that?

Whatever, I shook my head and got into my car, starting it up and flinching as the radio came on blaringly loud. I quickly turned it off, glancing at Komaeda. He was half awake, something about his expression put me off though.

"Ko, you doing alright?"I asked him, putting my hand on his shoulder.

"Hhh... Hajim.. S-sorry. I'm sorry about this.." he said slowly. His eyes were full of sadness, maybe regret?

"Hey, it's not a problem, the only one to blame is whoever did this to you, alright? I'm gonna get you home." I squeezed his shoulder softly and smiled before turning back to the wheel. I noticed his head turn to the window as his eyes slowly closed. 

I took a deep breath and continued the drive in silence, feeling very concerned for Komaeda as well as extremely angry at whoever did this. I drummed my fingers on the wheel angrily as I sped up a bit to get Komaeda home faster. 

<>

Soon enough, we made it to Komaedas house. The lights were off and it looked quite.. empty. I shook him gently awake. "Hey.. we're here now. I've gotta get you inside." I told him, unbuckling my seat belt and opening the door. 

I made my way around the car to Komaeda's side and grabbed his arms when he attempted to hold them out. I hoisted him out and thought back to Nidai-kun's previous statement..

Komaeda is really light.

I thought he was just showing off a bit but no... He's very easy to lift. 

Which is exactly what I did.

I told him to lean on my back and he slowly did, then I told him to grab around my neck while I picked up his knees and brought them up, giving him a successful piggyback ride. He was trying to talk, I'm sure trying to say "you dont have to do this" or something of the sort. But, all that came out were small whines and dragged out vowels. I could tell he was trying to fight off sleep. 

"Its alright Ko" I muttered softly, briskly walking to the front door. I turned the doorknob and was slightly alarmed to see it unlocked. 

Maybe that's just how his family is..? I thought silently and I opened the door. "Hey, Ko, which way?" I asked quietly.

"Uhhhm.. Oh, sorry. L-left here...."

I turned left.

"d-dowwn this 'allway.."

I went down the hallway.

"door on.. right.."

I opened the door cautiously and flicked on the light. His room was, pretty bare.

The walls were painted a soft blue and the only remarkable think about his room was the bed. It was pretty big, king sized or so. Other then that, there weren't many other items. A small desk and chair in the corner and beside it a bookcase half full with some books. 

I walked over to the bed and turned around, slowly crouching so Komaeda could get off my back and onto his bed safely. He just laid there for a minute, staring at the wall with a zoned out expression.

I got the blankets and put them over him, smiling at him once more before deciding I should leave.

A small tug on my sleeve.

"H-Haj... ime... Could you..? maybe.. uh. Sleep by me..?" He said, his voice barely a whisper. "I'm s-sorry to askk you but uh... I-I'm" he broke off, looking away. I was suddenly aware of how red his face was, his eyes looked like they were holding back tears. 

I felt awful for him. Komaeda was most likely incredibly embarrassed already and this sudden request seemed like too much for the shy boy I knew. 

"Im.. scared" he said at last. "What if.. the one who did thiss... followed us or... something?" he said, and although it seemed a bit odd, of course when you're that vulnerable, it's understandable to be terrified. 

"Ko.. I dont know. I'd have to text my dad and all that-"

"Oh! then it's alright hajim... ey.. I don' wanna make you do... anything that you..aren't comfortable with" he said, his words seeming to form better now.

I took out my phone and sent a message to my dad.

Hinata: Hey dad, I know it's late and I said I would be home but.. At the party we went to something kinda bad happened to a friend of mine and hes asking me to stay at his house for the night. Would that be okay?

I twiddled twisted thumbs over the screen, anxiously waiting. Komaeda looked up at me with a confused expression.

Dad: I thought it was obvious something bad happened when you hadn't texted yet this late. I assumed the worst, that something happened to you but, I'm pretty relieved to hear your just looking out for others. You can stay but I ask you be home tomorrow by afternoon. Maybe bring your friend too?

I smiled, knowing my dad understood that I was a bit stressed and needed conformation. 

"Hey, looks like I can stay" I said softly to Komaeda. He smiled, loopy and half asleep. "You sure it's ok if I sleep in the same bed as you? You're under an influence and I dont want to seem like I'm taking advantage of that.." I told him, needing full assurance that he was okay.

Komaeda nodded, "Yes.. haji..me. Please" he whispered, scooting back into the wall side of the bed. 

I smiled once more at him and turned to turn off the lights, then got under the covers, tossing my phone onto his nightstand. 

After a few seconds of silence, I felt Komaeda move, seemingly closer.

I first felt his hand brush against my chest. He then looked up at me with wide eyes. "could you maybe.. um.. h-hold me.. or.. like... s-some.. thing" he asked me, scooting closer.

I was taken aback by the request, the Komaeda I knew would never let someone touch him that intimately, nevermind be in this situation with him at all. I nodded anyway, pushing past my own doubt, realizing that Komaeda needed me here and now. With him.

I slid my hand over his waist to his middle back, turning on my side to face him. He tucked his head into my chest and put his arm around my shoulders. I brought him the a little bit closer and felt his hair tickle my chin.

It was soft. So, so very soft. I ran my hand up and down his back, "Your all good.. no one is gonna hurt you" I said while staring at the all behind him. His breathing had evened out so I realized I was talking to the air. 

This situation was above all, conflicting. I didn't know how I felt about nagito at this point, or how he felt about me. Were we just friends? best friends? more...?

I had only known him a week yet I had a strong urge to protect him, like if something bad happened to him it would be my fault. I dont know why I feel that way but... I want to do whatever is best for nagito, I want to find out more about the shy, timid boy asleep in my arms.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kinda forgot that I was only going to have Komaeda use the honorific -san for the girls since it's like super polite, but then I accidentally made everyone use it so just ignore my awful attempt at using honorifics.

Hinata's Pov

I was suddenly awakened from a cozy sleep by light hitting my unsuspecting eyelids. I groggily opened them and realized the light was streaming in from a window opposite the bed I was sleeping in. Small dust flurries swirled around in the bright light that illuminated the room. I looked to my right and was suddenly aware of the situation I was in. 

Nagito slept peacefully on my chest, his hair softly tickling my chin and his breaths long and deep. He was definitely tired from last night, the drugs he was intoxicated under most likely finally catching up to him. I moved my hand which was under him to rest softly on his back, hoping it would bring him a bit more comfort in his sleep. My cheeks heated up seeing him so close to me and I wondered what he would say once he woke up. For now though, I pushed those thoughts away and let him sleep, enjoying the peace of the early morning and the presence of a cute boy in my arms.

...cute? I thought back to my own words. Did I really think of him like that? 

I pulled out my phone which was on the nightstand next to me and checked for any texts, sure enough, there were many. The group chat was going a bit crazy over what happened to Komaeda and I after last night. I saw I had over 30 missed messages from the group chat, a couple from Teruteru and one from Nanami-san. First, I read Teruteru’s.

Teruteru: Hajime, you get Komaeda home safe?  
Teruteru: I’m just wondering is all..

I texted him back a simple reply.

Hinata: Yeah it’s all good man, fell asleep pretty early.

Next came Nanami-san.

Nanami: You alright? Komaeda too?

Hinata: Yea we’re all good

Then came the real problem...the group chat. Nearly everybody that was at the party had sent at least one message to it. But it was also being spammed by Ibuki. Not wanting to respond to every single question, I simply took a picture of Komaeda sleeping and sent it with the caption ‘We’re ok’. I figured that would be easiest.

Something moved on my chest. I looked down and saw Komaeda’s eyes, half open and still hazy, groggy from sleeping. “H...Hinata-kun?” he asked questioningly. 

“Oh, goodmorning Ko… Do you remember anything from last night?” I said, letting him wake up a bit first.  
He sat up, “Oh! I’m so sorry Hinata-kun.. I do remember some.. I made you sleep in here with me, didn’t I? I’m sorry, you were probably so uncomfortable sleeping beside someone like me.. Oh god, how can I make it up to you? Do you want to leave? You don’t have to be my frie-”

I cut him off. “Ko. Quit that shit out, you know you aren’t a pain to me. I would never stop being your friend, especially over something like this.” I told him, grabbing his upper arms as I said it, truly hoping at least some of it would go through to him. 

His face heated up as his eyes widened, “I- uh.. S-sorry I didn’t mean to make you upset.” he stopped, looking down, “hah...i’m really useless at this point, aren’t I?” he said in a whisper, only to himself. 

I felt my face fill with concern. “Nagito.. What do you mean?”

“Calling me by my first name now huh?”

“Nagito, you aren’t any of that stuff that you say about yourself.. You aren’t worthless, or trash, or whatever else!” I told him, wishing he would look up at me. After a beat, he did, his eyes were red rimmed and he looked almost ashamed. He peeked up at me through long white lashes as his face turned even more red, deeply contrasting his usual pale porcelain skin tone. 

“I’m.. so sorry.. Did you want to leave?” he asked, almost ignoring all of what I had just said. 

I released my grip on him, dropping my hands to my sides. I figured today just wasn’t the time for this. “My dad asked if you could possibly come home with me? I think he wants to check up on you since I told him something bad happened..” I said to him, taking the blankets off and swinging my feet over the side of the bed. 

I looked back at Nagito and saw his adam's apple bob as he looked away nervously, “Meeting your… father? Hinata-kun? Do you really think he would like..me?” he asked, fiddling with the sleeves on his sweater. 

I cocked on eyebrow, “Why would he not? You're very polite and nice especially around adults, I’m sure he'll love to have you around.” I told him blankly, “Did you wanna stop for breakfast or anything on the way over?” I asked, the question wasn’t exactly giving him a choice whether he was going with me or not. 

He pursed his lips, “Um, no I’m alright. Could I maybe change first though? I was in these clothes last night and I’m a bit scared they smell like alcohol or something..” Komaeda said, starting to make his way off the bed as well. 

“Oh, yeah sure. I’ll go start the car.” I said as I walked briskly out, shoving my shoes on my feet and heading out the door. 

Outside it was nice and sunny, it was warm but not too warm as well. The morning sun that had awoken me earlier was now shining even more bright on the pavement, and making the paint on my car nearly blind me. I walked over to my car and dug in my pocket for the keys, taking it out finally and putting it in the ignition. This morning was a tad bit awkward and I wanted to lighten the mood so I put on the radio pretty loud and rolled the windows down, hoping the fresh air and music would help Komaeda not be quite as embarrassed. 

A few moments later, Komaeda walked out of the house in a new outfit. Another turtleneck, but this time it was baby blue, paired with some ripped white jeans. He hurryingly jogged over to the car and when he sat down I realised he was once again out of breath. Does he just never get out? 

“All ready?” I asked him, to which he gave me a small nod.

A few minutes into the drive he spoke up, “Uhh, so Hinata-kun..” he stopped, rubbing his sleeves together, “Last night was I.. y’know acting weird or anything? It’s so embarrassing to have a huge gap of time in my mind of when I wasn’t able to think straight.” 

I thought back to last night while still keeping my eyes on the road, “Nothing I can think of, no.”

“Do you… hate me for making you sleep in my bed…?” the white haired boy said quietly, almost a whisper. I froze up for only a second before replying.

“No I.. really enjoyed it, actually”

“Really..? I see..” he responded, then the car went back to being silent.

“Ko?”

“Yes?”

“I really enjoy being with you.. And y’know.. Being your friend. Please never think I could hate you” I said, too embarrassed to look over at him. I heard him only make a small gasp and then let his air out in a shaky laugh.

“I enjoy being with you too, Hinata-kun” 

<>

We got to my house pretty quickly after that, the embarrassment from the emotional event in the car slowly fading away. Komaeda still had a small dusting of pink across his cheeks but besides that.. The tension was fading as we stepped out of the car and Komaeda joined me on my right. I linked my arm with his, “My dad will love you, I’m sure.” I told him, trying my best to make his anxiety about the situation go away. He only gave me a small nod, yet made a small gesture of bringing my arm closer to him so we were only a couple inches apart. I could tell he was still anxious.

We unlinked arms going through the door, and I held the door open for him. My dad turned around in the kitchen and smiled at Komaeda as he walked into the house.

“Hi! I’m Hajime’s dad, it’s nice to meet you.” my dad said politely, reaching his hand out to shake Komaedas.

“Ah, I’m Nagito Komaeda, it’s a pleasure” Komaeda said back, shaking my dad’s hand softly.

“So I heard something happened last night at the party? You alright?” he asked.

“Mhm. I’m all good now, thanks to Hinata-kun..” 

“That’s good to hear, if you don’t mind me asking, Komaeda, what happened?” my dad inquired. I realized quickly that Komaeda was going to be embarrassed about this so I stepped in. 

“Well, someone slipped some type of drug into Komaeda’s punch and he got super tired and out of it” I answered quickly, glancing at Komaeda and seeing his face heat up.

My dad cocked an eyebrow at me, probably wondering why I answered for him but didn’t say anything about it. “I see.. Well I’m quite glad that you ended up okay, Komaeda.”

He nodded, saying thank you.

“So, maybe we should head upstairs..?” I said to no one in particular, but grabbed Komaeda’s hand softly and started heading to my bedroom. I noticed right away that Komaeda’s hand seemed a bit sweaty and his breathing was a bit off. “Are you alright?” I asked him as we entered my room.

“Y-yes.. I’m okay. I was just a bit nervous about that whole interaction.” he said, looking around my room. “I really like your room Hinata-kun, it’s very nice looking”

I could tell that he was saying that to be nice, I laughed. “Ko, my room is a pigsty” 

He fought back a smile but couldn’t hold it for long, “eheh.. I’m sorry but it is.. A bit messy” he said, chuckling.

“A bit? Nagito, you can’t even see the floor”

That made him chuckle louder as he wadded around in the clothes and other things covering the floor, heading to my bed. He sat down and caught his breath from laughing. I sat next to him and smiled, staring as he laughed with his eyes closed. He had a hand covering his mouth as he laughed and I couldn’t help but want to make him uncover his mouth. 

“Maybe for something to do I could help you clean..?” he asked, finally opening his eyes and searching my face for a reaction.

I nodded, “That sounds great but.. I don’t want to make it seem like I invited you over here just to clean my room Ko” I told him.

He shook his head, “I enjoy cleaning, if you somehow didn’t notice, my room did not have one thing out of place.” 

“Alright then, let’s start” I said, getting up and throwing a few clothes in the laundry hamper. Komaeda got up and started to do the same, tossing any clothes he found on the ground into my hamper. “I’m sure these are all dirty so we shouldn’t even try to sort them.” I said, huffing as I threw a big load into my hamper.

Nagito laughed, “Yeah, that would take a while, do you have hangers and stuff?”

I chuckled, “yeah, and a dresser, I just don’t like to fold my clothes too much.” 

He raised his head and looked over at me, “Ah, I see.. You probably should get into the habit of doing that, Hinata-kun.” 

I picked up a pillow off my floor and threw it at him softly, laughing as it bounced off his fluffy white hair. He flinched then glanced up quickly and smiled. “I see.. So that’s how it’s gonna be” he said before picking up the pillow and running at me. I tried to duck but he just tackled me and hit me with the pillow. He fell on top of me and laughed as I scrambled around with my arms to look for wherever the pillow went. 

I couldn’t find it and resorted to trying to stand up.

“Ah!” was all Komaeda was able to say before he toppled backwards onto the floor. The clothes cushioned his fall as I stood up and walked over to get the pillow. As I turned around, I saw Komaeda standing up and I quickly used the pillow to shove him over onto the bed. He laughed as I threw the pillow at him softly one more time.

“Whatever Ko, I’m just lazy” I said as I flopped next to him, “Can we take a break?” 

“Heh..” he said, trying to catch his breath “You wanna stop.. Already? Jeez Hinata-kun, no wonder your room is messy”  
I raised the pillow up jokingly, making Nagito laugh. “But yeah we can stop for a minute” was all he said before laying down fully on my bed.

I smiled, laying my head back beside him and closing my eyes for a minute. “Hey.. this may be a weird request but.. Would you mind laying your head in my lap? I wanna play with your hair” I said, half-joking but also half really wanting him to say yes.

He shrugged, “Sure Hinata-kun”

The white haired boy then waited for me to sit up before laying his head down into my lap, the rest up him curling up into a ball, with his arms outstretched in front of him slightly. With my right hand, I laid my arm over Komaeda’s shoulders and grabbed his hand lazily, not thinking much of what I was doing. With my left, I tangled my fingers in Komaeda’s soft, slightly curly white locks. 

As the afternoon light started to pour into the room, Komaeda’s grasp on my hand softened as he fell asleep. I held his hand slightly tighter as I continued to rake my fingers through his fluffy hair, smiling contently looking at his peaceful sleeping face.


	8. Moonlit Beach Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!Mentions of self harm and abuse in this chapter!!

Hinata’s Pov

When I woke up I quickly learned that I had a very stiff neck and that it was dark out. Komaeda was still in my lap, but in a slightly different position then he had been when I fell asleep. He was now laying on his back, his arms were both cradled around my right arm one in a cute, hugging type manner. His face was still peaceful and for a moment I contemplated going back to bed so I wouldn’t wake him. Suddenly, his eyes slowly opened, immediately locking with mine. He smiled faintly and sat up, putting his body weight against me. I wrapped an arm around his waist and hummed in a quiet voice as I took out my phone to look at my notifications. A couple were from the group chat. 

Mioda: Awww, you guys are cuteee!! Owo

Owari: Good you guys are alright! I was about to tackle the dude who did it and beat him up!

Nanami: Glad to know you ended up okay.  
Nanami: So, I found out some intel about who slipped the drug in Komaeda-kun’s drink.

My eyes widened as I responded, asking who did it.

Nanami: Apparently, someone thought it would be funny to put pills in random people’s drinks while they were at the party. No real reason behind it, they just thought it would be funny to see some people drugged and loopy. I believe Nidai-kun found them.

Hinata: That’s slightly relieving to hear they didn’t have any plans for what they would do to those they drugged. Still a bit upsetting though..

I put my phone down and explained the situation to Komaeda, since he hadn’t gone on his phone all day. 

“That’s… good to hear I suppose, I was really terrified at the idea of them following me home. That’s a bit silly now, isn’t it? Heh..” he chuckled lightly, probably not to make any tension.

I shook my head, “It wasn’t silly, Ko. I think anyone would have been rightfully scared if they were in the same position as you”

He nodded and sighed, “So.. do you still plan on cleaning your room or..?”

I looked around with a slight look of disgust. “Nah, we should go for a walk or something. I’m pretty wide awake now that we slept all day.” 

“Hah, alright Hinata-kun.. Where would you like to go? I haven’t been around too much so I think it would be cool to see somewhere new”

I thought for a second, “You haven’t been to the beach yet, right?”

He shook his head, “Nope”

I smiled wide, “What do you say to some night swimming?”

Komaeda chuckled, fiddling with the holes in his jeans, “I didn’t bring a swimsuit, Hinata-kun..”

“You can borrow one of mine!” I said, a bit too excited. 

“S-sure then. Sounds nice”

And that was all it took to get me to my feet. I scrambled around in my dresser, finding that I indeed did have some clothes put away in there. I took out two pairs of swimming trunks and tossed them onto the bed beside Komaeda.

“Um, Hinata-kun? Do you happen to have any long sleeves I could borrow to swim in? I’m uh, sure it will be cold because it is night” Komaeda said softly, wrapping up the trunks in his arms. 

“Uh, yeah! Right here.” I said, tossing an old long sleeve to him. “C’mon, the towel closet is downstairs”

He followed as I went downstairs. “You can set the clothes down on the counter, it might take me a minute to find actual beach towels.” I told him. He sat down the clothes and nodded, sitting on a stool himself. I went to the towel closet and after a few minutes of searching, I found two clean beach towels and a nice bag to put it all in. “And we are on our way!” I said to Komaeda, putting our things hurriedly into the bag, not really bothering to double check. 

We walked out the door and I led Komaeda in the direction of the beach, our walking speed was brisk yet also relaxed into each other's paces.

“So.. are you okay now? Y’know from last night?” I asked him, genuinely curious about how the drugs had affected him. He hadn't said anything about his state all day, making me kinda worried.

He gave me a pained smile, “I’ve been kinda dealing with a headache all day to be honest with you. Obviously nothing troubling or that you need to worry about but.. It has been a small nuisance.” 

“Oh, sorry! If you had told me earlier I could have offered you some pain relievers” I told him, shoving my hands in my pockets.

“No. It’s quite alright, pain relievers can conflict with my medications..” he said in a whispery tone, looking down at the pavement as we walked.

I cocked my head to the side, looking over at him, “What stuff do you take?”

His eyes went wide and he suddenly looked scared, like he had released some private information that I wasn’t supposed to hear. “Ah! Nothing serious that you have to worry about Hinata-kun”

I sensed that he didn’t want to talk about it anymore and I nodded, “Oh..” 

Silence filled the space between us as we walked down the empty sidewalk. The silence separated us and I so longingly looked up at the boy that had just been sleeping in my lap only a little bit ago. I looked down at his left hand and slowly brought my own hand to touch it. He seemed surprised for just a moment before softly smiling and letting me take his hand in mine. His hand was cold as ice and I squeezed it a few times in an attempt to warm him up. 

He squeezed back.

<>

We arrived at the beach around 9pm, the wind was stopped and the night was slightly warm. Sadly, the sun had gone down most likely hours ago, but swimming in the dark seemed like a fun time too. Komaeda and I looked into the bag and I fished out my swim trunks before heading into a stall to change. Komaeda waited outside as I did.

“Jeez Hinata-kun, what’s taking you so long?” he jokingly asked when I hadn’t come out.

“Oh shut up you, I have jeans on and they suck to take off.” I told him, making him shortly chuckle.

I stepped out after getting my trunks on. “Ok. Your turn, try to go faster” I said. He smirked and took the bag in with him.

After a few moments of silence I heard his soft voice come through the stall door “Um, Hinata-kun? We forgot the shirt…” he said, his voice quivering. The mood seemed to instantly change but I tried my best to keep him from panicking.

“That’s alright, it’s pretty warm out here to be honest.” I told him, wanting to go and swim.

A few more moments of silence played out before I got worried, “Uh, Ko? You okay?” I asked.

I heard a hiccup through the door and a soft sob, he seemed like he was trying to be as quiet as possible. My eyes widened, “Hey! Nagito? You alright in there?” I called to him.

“H-Hinata-kun… I can’t go out without a shirt on.. Is it okay if I just watch you swim?” he asked in a whisper, his voice cracking a couple times, giving me a tell-tale sign that he was crying. 

“Nagito.. Is this about something to do with your body? I literally don’t care about that kind of stu-”

“No, it isn’t that..” he whispered. “It’s something that I think may… make you angry or.. Disgust you in some way. This.. hah.. this may make you actually hate me..”

“I’ve told you so many times Nagito.. I could never hate you, okay? There’s nothing you could do to make me legitimately hate you.” I told him sternly, hoping he would come to his senses and see that.

“You’re sure…? You won’t hate me?”

“Yes, I’m sure Ko”

“Okay..” he said before opening the stall door. I didn’t see anything that would offput me immediately but then after looking for a second in the bright light, I realized something was very wrong. 

His arms were completely covered in self harm cuts. From the tip of his wrist to elbow was full. Some new red scars overlapping healed white ones in an angry, vicious manner. I saw on his waist and near his hips there were a few older ones as well. Without even using my brain I picked up one of his arms and carefully ran my thumb across some.

He hissed a bit, probably at the pain, and attempted at withdrawing his arm from my grasp but he couldn’t quite do it. I grabbed his other one too and gazed at the angry marks. “Nagito… why? Why do you do this to yourself?” I asked him, afraid to look him in the eyes and see the hurt that I knew was lying there. 

He shuddered, “I.. Hinata-kun…" he trailed off, not able to get the words out.

I figured actions spoke louder than words at this point. I softly put my hands around his waist and used my thumb to brush against any of the scars that laid there. I couldn't stop staring. While I knew that may make Komaeda a bit self conscious, at the moment, I couldn't take my eyes off him. While the scars did cover a lot of him, his body at the same time was.. beautiful.

Everything about him was amazing.

I wrapped my whole arms around him, my left hand resting on his left hip and my right was resting on the small of his back. He was shaking like a leaf and I tried to use my body to smother the shaking. I felt his hands brush against my neck, and suddenly his arms were wrapped around my neck as well. He held his head down and I felt him sob once. 

"I'm sorry Hinata-kun…I'm so sorry… sorry…" he murmured, trembling as he spoke.

"You're okay Ko.. I've got you" I said "I know that you may not be able to quit all together.. And I can't make you promise to me that you'll stop but.." I put my head closer to his ear, resting my chin in his soft locks. "Can you maybe cut back on it for a bit? I'll help you through this. I promise" 

I heard him half-heartedly laugh, a laugh devoid of any emotions besides sadness, “hah.. I suppose I can try.. Anything for you, Hinata-kun” he said and I felt him tense up as he did. “Uh, I just have one question though.. Why would someone as great as you, Hinata-kun.. Want to help someone like me? Why do you even care for someone like me?” he whispered quietly, “I just don’t… understand..” he trailed off.

I used my hand to rub his back a little bit, the smoothness of his skin ever present against my rough hands. “Ko.. I know you don’t understand it.. And y’know.. That’s okay. I’ll try my best to help you understand. You need to understand” I felt my words falling out of my mouth, I was more or less starting to act desperate as my hands tightened their grip around him. I felt like if I let go the smallest bit he would disappear.

“Uhn.. Hinata-kun.. Your grip is a little.. Tight.” I cleared my head and nodded, blinking a few times before resorting to stepping back and just resting my hands against his waist. “Don’t worry about me so much please.. I’m not going to leave you” he said, a faint outline of a smile on his lips. I acted without thinking and used one of my hands to cup his cheek. 

Then I leaned forward and.. Kissed him. 

He tasted like mint and salty ocean air, I used my hand cupping his cheek to slowly run my fingers through his hair. It was… relaxing, almost therapeutic. The kiss was long but when Komaeda pulled away I felt the urge to do it again. He panted for a second then regained his composure. “H-Hinata-kun?”

“Yeah?”

“Please.. Do that again.. If you would want-”

I pulled him into another kiss, his arms were both linked around my neck as I kissed him as long as my breath would allow. I wondered what I tasted like to him, I hoped that it was good. He pulled away once again, out of breath far before myself. I questioned to myself why he always was out of breath so easily but didn’t dare ruin the moment by saying that. Even I can read the room sometimes, you know.

I noticed a small bit of saliva running down his chin, he seemed too out of it to notice. I carefully brushed it away and kissed his nose. He smiled, coming back to reality. I proceeded to kiss his neck and down to his collarbone. I heard him make small gasps and such along the way but I wasn’t done yet. I made my way down to his arm and planted the smallest, most gentle kisses I could, trying to land one on every scar. He noticed what I was doing and I felt Komaeda tremble a little.

I lifted my head up and noticed that there were tears in his eyes once again, “Oh no, Komaeda I’m sorry if I just-”

“No, it’s fine… I really liked it, in fact. It’s just.. Haha.. these are happy tears.. No one has ever treated me.. This gentle before, thank you, Hinata-kun” he said with a sad smile, an expression I didn’t ever plan to see on his face now seemed like the only way I envisioned him. A melancholy boy who I was truly head over heels for.

I resorted to keeping my feelings inside and smiled back at him, “Would you like to swim now?” I asked. Komaeda nodded and we made our way to the beach with the bag in hand. That small event was now permanently etched into my mind, Komaeda was now permanently etched into my mind as well.

Komada set the bag down so it was out of reach by the waves and we walked over to where the water was gently lapping onto the shore. The water was foamy and white where we were standing, but the farther you looked out, the white ombred into a crystal blue. The moon shined off the surface of the water, small ripples of light crashing towards us. I looked at Komaeda briefly before grabbing his hand and starting to run through the water.

“Ah! It’s so cold!” he yelped and I chuckled at his quick reaction. 

“Well, it is night, probably would be warmer if we had come during the day.” I replied, letting go of his hand once the water was around waist high.

He shook his head, “Well, why did we have to sleep all day then, Hinata-kun?”

I shrugged, “Hey, maybe we can invite the rest of the class out here tomorrow or something.. Then we could enjoy the water while it’s warm”

He nodded, looking off into the distance. I stared at him for only a second before a devilish thought came to mind. I smirked, then proceeded to lightly shove the white haired boy into the water. He yelped again and crashed down under. I felt bad for a second but then I felt a hand grasp my leg, pulling me under as well.   
I went under and briefly had to hold my breath before I stood up again to see where Komaeda had gone. When I came up, I saw him hunched over a bit, his hand over his mouth and his eyes closed as he laughed at what he had done. “Very funny, Ko”

“You did do it to me first, Hinata-kun”

I chuckled, “Yeah, I suppose that’s right” 

His white hair clung to him and he looked a bit like a fluffy dog after you have gotten its fur wet. Somehow.. Skinnier. Without his fluffy hair, he looked even smaller, and it didn’t help he was shaking like a leaf.

“Maybe night swimming wasn’t the best idea, it’s pretty cold” I told him, rubbing my hands up and down my arms in an attempt to warm myself up.

“Y-yeah. My teeth are chattering eheh” he laughed as we slowly made our way to the shore. We got towels and dried ourselves off before sitting down in the sand. I sat behind Komaeda and took his towel from him. “What are you doing?” he asked, an eyebrow up and a small smile on his face. I only laughed and started to use the towel to dry his hair off. 

“I like when your hair is all fluffy, I’m drying it off” 

I saw Komaeda’s face turn a bit red and he turned back around, hiding his blushing cheeks from me. “Hah. I also like when you blush” I said without even realizing. “I-I mean!-..” Now my face was hot. 

I heard Komaeda chuckle and he brought his knees up to his chest. “I know I’ve said it already tonight but.. Thank you for caring so much, no one has ever really.. Cared like you” he said, still staring off into the water. 

“I appreciate it Ko.. Um, but, what about your parents? I was also wondering if they were worried about you getting home tonight” I told him, almost getting done with drying his hair.

“My parents?... Hah, well… I don’t have them anymore, Hinata-kun.. I haven’t told anybody this but.. I live with my aunt, actually.” He said, his voice low and sad.

“Then your aunt? Or.. your other relatives? Do they not care?” I asked him, my voice starting to take on a sort of desperate tone. I couldn’t imagine not having someone to support me like my dad has. I mean, my mom isn’t in the picture but I can’t imagine not having either of them..

“My aunt and my other relatives have been.. Well.. let’s just say that they aren’t very good people, especially to someone like me”

“Komaeda.. Have any of them ever… y’know? Like.. hit you or something?” I asked, scooting around to face him.

He looked up at me with a sad expression and nodded, “Mhm…”

I opened my mouth then closed it, not knowing what to say. “Wh-... Komaeda? Are you… ok? Were your parents also like that?” I was confused at this point, not understanding how anyone would ever want to hurt someone like Komaeda, I sat up on my knees and cupped his cheek. “Ko..?”

He shut his eyes, “My parents were pretty neglectful. Where other children may have been loved.. I was offered money and told to go away..” he opened his eyes again, “Hinata-kun.. I have to tell you something.. When my parents died, they died in a plane crash. I was… the only one out of the whole plane to survive.” he said, a look of shame in his eyes. I could already tell he blamed himself for living.. Survivors guilt. “I inherited a lot of money.. I don’t know if that’s one of the reasons my relatives don’t like me.. Y’know me getting the money over them but.. I wish that would change..” he trailed off.

“I’m so sorry Nagito. I didn’t know that something like that happened to you-”

“Please quit it with the sympathy, Hinata-kun.. I don’t think I can take much more of it” he said, cutting me off. I just backed off and nodded, giving him space. “I’m sorry, that was rude, wasn’t it? Here I am, bashing you for having basic emotions. Hah, why am I so useless..?” 

I frowned, shaking my head. Then, I hugged the frail boy, trying my best to let him know he wasn’t useless without using words. Words never seemed to get through to him, but actions did.

“Nagito.. Thank you..”

“Huh? Why?” he asked, gripping onto the back of my shirt, I could feel him starting to tremble again.

“For being here today. I feel so happy when I’m with you. And, I’m always gonna be here, okay? Through the good and the ugly” I told him. I felt him shake a bit more as he brought his arms up to hug me back.

“Y-Your.. welcome”


	9. Melted Ice cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the equivalent of when the characters do a beach episode in an anime dklghalkgd

Hinata’s POV  
For the third time in a row, I woke up with Komaeda in my arms. Not a bad situation at all, I thought, I could really get used to it. This time he was facing the wall and I had my arms wrapped around his waist, my face was being tickled by the hair on the back of his head. I lifted my own head up a bit and was surprised to see he was already awake. Just idly scrolling through his phone. I saw him in the groupchat with our friends and he was slowly trying to type out a text. I could see him repeatedly backspacing. 

“Mm.. morning Ko” I said, rubbing my eyes. My voice came out groggy and low. He flinched and looked really surprised before sheepishly turning over to face me.

“Morning” he said with a faint smile. 

I cocked my head at him, “So, whatcha typing?” I asked, gesturing towards his phone. 

“Ah, well last night we never sent out the text to invite everyone to the beach, so I was going to do that” he paused, pursing his lips “but I don’t know how to exactly word it.” 

“Just say ‘Come to the beach now’ and they’ll all understand” I muttered, sitting up and trying to wake up a bit more. 

“That seems a bit forward, Hajime” he stated plainly. I perked up at the use of my first name.

“You finally got past those weird honorifics you add to my name?” I asked him, smirking slightly.

He widened his eyes, “Oh! I’m so sorry if you don’t want me to call you by your first name, ah.. I’m kinda dumb sorry sorry.” he rambled.

I cupped his face in my hands, “Ko, we just made out like four times last night, I think you can call me by my name” I said, a deadpan look on my face. 

He sheepishly snickered, “Eheh.. I suppose” 

I leaned forward and pecked his lips before snatching his phone out of his hand. “Okay, I’m sending ‘Meet Hajime and I at the beach around 10’” I told him, typing out the message. After I hit send, a small reminder popped up on his screen. “Take meds? Oh! Yeah, you said something about that last night, right?” I asked.

He nodded, looking away, “Could we possibly stop at my house quickly to get them? I mean, it’s okay if we don’t I’d just prefer-” 

“Yeah Komaeda, we’re going” I told him, standing up and bringing him up with me by grabbing his hands. 

<>

After a small drive, we arrived at Komaeda’s house. 

“You just wait out here, I’ll be back in a minute,” Komaeda said before hopping out of the car. He scurried to his front door. I saw him try the handle and then pull out a key, putting it in the knob and heading inside. I pulled out my phone and absentmindedly checked different social medias, waiting for him to come back.

When he hadn’t returned for a couple minutes I got a bit curious. I assumed that he wouldn’t mind me coming in quick, just to check on him, right? I had already been in his house before so, there shouldn't be a problem..?

I opened my car door and stepped out, heading to the door. My hand was hovering above the knob when I heard someone yelling. I had never heard Komaeda yell so I assumed someone was yelling at him. My eyes widened as I pressed my ear to the door to listen. I was well aware that to the neighbors I probably looked weird as hell but I didn’t care in the moment.

Muffled shouting was echoing throughout the house. “-You! I’ve done everything I can! And you disrespect me like this?!-” the person got slightly quieter and I couldn’t hear them as well. From what I could hear though, it sounded like a female. My blood ran cold, thinking of what Komaeda had said to me last night. 

He said his relatives have been abusive to him in the past.. Did he mean that they still are?

I put my ear closer to the gap in the door and listened again. This time I could hear Komaeda, his voice was breaking off and he was stuttering, it was obvious he was scared.

“I-I’m sorry I was just with a frien-”

“Quit using stupid excuses! I don’t care what you were doing, I just care about the fact that you never said anything. How idiotic can you be?! It’s like you don’t use your brain ever!” the lady screamed at him. I heard Komeda hiccup. “Shut up and quit crying. Boys don’t cry” she said, her voice laced with venom.

“Sorry..” I heard him whimper before a loud whack echoed through the door. I froze up, realizing the woman most likely just slapped Komaeda.

“Don’t come back home tonight, unless you really want me to give you something to cry about.” the woman spat. I felt tears spring up into my eyes and I dashed to the car. I got in my seat and put my head down on the wheel, trying to get the tears to go away. Not even a minute later, Komaeda clumsily staggered out of the house. His eyes were looking at the ground and in his hand was a small bag, his backpack. He got into the car and glanced at me questioningly. 

Somehow, he was more worried about the fact I was crying then the fact that he had a giant red mark on his cheek. “Hajime? What’s wrong? Are you crying..?” he asked gently, putting his hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him. 

“I know I shouldn’t have done it but.. Komaeda when you hadn’t come out for a while I went to go check for you.. I heard..” I trailed off, not able to bring myself to say ‘the abuse’ or any variation of it. 

His lips parted and for a second he looked truly terrified. Then, in the blink of an eye, he composed himself with a small smile. “Hey.. It’s okay.. That kind of stuff happens all the time. Heh, at least you haven’t heard her when she’s drunk” he said, trying to go for a joke. My expression didn’t change, rather, more tears gathered in my eyes. “Shit, sorry uh. Since you heard her.. You know that she kinda kicked me out for the night.. Can I-”

“Yes, please!” I said, staring at him with desperation in my face. “Komaeda, if you ever need somewhere to stay, please ask me right away, I would never turn you away.” I told him, a deep wanting in my gut for him to get away from his own homelife. A took my hand and carefully graced my thumb over his cheek, unable to look away for a moment.

He gulped, “Thank- Thank you… Hajime..” he looked down and his grasp on his bag tightened, I saw his red rimmed eyes and released my touch on his face.

“Hah, now we’re both crying, and everyone’s probably almost at the beach.” I said, starting the car and driving.

Komaeda also laughed, “Yeah.. we better get going”

<>

We arrived at the beach a bit later. We had first stopped at my house to change, Komaeda putting on the long sleeve this time because he wasn’t quite ready to tell anyone about his scars yet.

And, after a short walk, we came to our stop, the beach. Everyone seemed to already be there, enjoying themselves in the afternoon sun. Komaeda quickly searched through our bag and pulled out a medium sized bottle he had had in his backpack before. Sunscreen, I assumed.

“What? You don’t wanna get a nice tan?” I asked him, smirking.

He shook his head, rolling his eyes, “Hajime, do I look like the type that can get a tan?” he said, gesturing to his porcelain like skin. I chuckled, stealing a little blob of it from his hand with my finger and dragging it across the brim of his nose. He looked confused for a moment then laughed.

“There you two are!!” I heard a female voice shriek. It was Ibuki, of course. She ran up to us and clasped us on the shoulders. Komaeda yelped quickly.

“Ah! Hello, Mioda-san” he said, regaining his normal composure, “Glad to know you have lots of energy per usual” he said, giving her a small smile. 

“How many times do I have to tell you?! Call me Ibuki! And you don’t have to be so formal” she said, her hand on her hip. Her lip was out in a sassy/pouty demeanor. Suddenly, her eyes lit up, as if she had just remembered something “Cmon, we’ve been waiting for you slowpokes! Let’s go play some chicken!” Ibuki grabbed my hand to follow and I grabbed Komaeda’s. She quickly led us to the edge of the water where a few others were waiting. Nekomaru, Akane, Chiaki, Kazuichi, and Sonia were in the water, talking and calmly floating around.

“Alright! Now that you two are here, we can finally start, Miss Sonia, you should get on my shoulders” Kazuichi said, bending down slightly to make it easier.

“Actually! Sonia is going with Akane! That means you get to carry Hajime, I’ve already thought this out, so don’t even try to argue!” Ibuki shouted to him, her finger raised as she tried to assert her dominance over Kazuichi.

Kazuichi rolled is eyes and sighed, “Fine, get on man”

Ibuki piped up again, “Alright, Chiaki you’re on my shoulders, and Nagito, you're on Nekomaru’s”

I watched as Nagito carefully waded over to Nekomaru, a bit awkward, probably from the events that happened Friday night. I got onto Kazuichi’s shoulders. “You good?” I asked him, making sure I wasn’t too heavy or accidentally choking him.

“Yeah whatever, bro time is cool and all but..”

“Miss Sonia?” I asked him, my eyebrows raised. He nodded, huffing.

I looked over, seeing everyone was ready, “Let’s start!!” Akane yelled, charging forward at Ibuki and Chiaki. Chiaki tried to steady herself as her and Sonia shoved each other back and forth, both the girls giggling as they did it. 

“Okay Nagito! We’ve got this!” Nekomaru shouted as he walked forward. The look in Nagito’s eyes definitely told me he didn’t have it but he smiled at me anyway.

“You’re gonna go down, Nagito. You know that?” I said to him, grinning. 

He nodded, laughing slightly, “I have no doubt but.. Nekomaru may be able to save me." He said, giving me a light shoulder shove.

I immediately decided to play dirty. I poked him in his sides, making him yelp and lose his balance. I saw him fall backward and hastily attempt to use his hands to claw back up. He fell off pretty quickly and Nekomaru helped him up. “That’s alright! You tried your best, right?” he asked. Of course, Nekomaru was the dad friend of our group after all. 

Nagito rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly and laughed, “Yeah, it was a pretty fair fight”

Kazuichi moved forward, onto our next target. Chiaki and Ibuki were getting up out of the water as Sonia and Akane laughed triumphantly. “Ahah! Hello Kazuichi and Hajime! I see we must fight now!” Sonia exclaimed. “Kneel before us or accept your timely deaths”

“Yes Miss Sonia” We hadn’t even made a move yet before Kazuichi looked up at me slightly, “I’m sorry man but… I’m a simp” he said before falling backwards, making us both tumble into the water.

I quickly stood up, spitting out some of the salty water that had landed into my mouth. “C’mon man! We had a chance of winning!” I shouted to him. 

Suddenly, the smell of the ocean salt made me think back to last night, kissing Nagito on the beach. I felt my face grow hot as I remembered and wanted to do it again. But, obviously, I couldn’t. I’m sure Nagito doesn’t want us to come out to the group so suddenly and frankly, neither do I. It’s not anything to do with Nagito, just the fact that.. Everyone would know I like boys and that I am not straight..

I heard Kazuichi blabbering to Sonia as she looked at him with a puzzled look. Probably confused why he just tumbled over like that. I chuckled to myself and looked around for Nagito. I saw him sitting next to Chiaki at the shore, she was staring at his leg pretty intensely. I waded over to them, confused what was going on.

Nagito saw me and his eyes widened briefly, “Ah- I um, got a scratch after falling into the water. Just my luck, huh?” he said, giving me a lazy smile. I looked at his leg and saw the scratch. It wasn’t very big, but it was bleeding a little bit. Chiaki pursed her lips.

“I think it will be fine, it’s small so it should stop bleeding on its own.. I don’t think we have to get Mikan over here or anything” she said, giving him an encouraging smile. He grinned back.

“Thanks, Nanami-san.” 

Suddenly, I heard a high pitched voice behind me.

“Wah! Is that a cut? Do you need help, N-Nagito? I think I brought some w-with me!” Mikan stuttered on, gazing at the cut with a focused face. 

“It’s alright Mikan, thank you for asking, though” Nagito responded, getting up and dusting off the sand. Chiaki followed suit.

“A-Are you sure? I don’t want it to get i-infected” Mikan replied, worry in her eyes. Nagito nodded, smiling at her reassuringly. Mikan slowly nodded, looking slightly less worried but still a bit concerned about Nagito’s cut. Ibuki came up behind her.

“Hey Mikan! We’re gonna build a sandcastle and you should help out! You may be good at it!” she said, dragging Ibuki by the wrist. Chiaki smiled, pointing to them as if saying ‘I’m gonna follow’ and walked away. 

Nagito looked at me sheepishly, “Sorry about all that” he said.

I shook my head, grinning. Suddenly, the wanting from before to kiss him came back, “Hey, we should go to the changing rooms again real quick.” I told him in a charismatic manner, hoping I could quickly convince him.

He cocked his head but didn’t say anything as he silently followed me. When we got to our destination, I opened the door to the boy’s changing room and then shut it quickly, ushering him in. He looked at me puzzled, one eyebrow cocked and his lips pursed. I stared at him for only a second before cupping his face and pushing my face closer to his. I kissed him quickly, a chaste little peck before pulling away, wanting to see the startled look on his face. “You dragged me in here.. To kiss me..?” he asked, a skeptical look on his face, “Heh, thanks” he said, his face turning a shade of pink.

I put one hand on his waist and one through his hair and kissed him again. I felt him snake his own arms around my shoulders and kiss back. A few seconds passed before I realized the door to the changing room had opened. 

“Ah, I see this is a bad time” came the voice of Byakuya, standing in the doorway. His large frame prevented anyone from seeing us even with the door open, so I wasn’t very worried about that. My eyes widened as Nagito and I split apart, both of our faces heating up. “It’s quite alright, I was coming to ask you two if you wanted to get ice cream or anything with the others.” he said, stepping in, he closed the door.

“Ah, I’m sorry you had to uh, see that” I apologized, looking over at Nagito, who was looking to the side at the floor. “Uh yeah, we’ll go get ice cream”

“Don’t worry about anything, I won’t tell the others. I assume that since you two went in here instead of staying on the beach, you don’t want anyone to know yet?” he asked.

Nagito and I nodded slowly, “yeah..” I said quietly. 

“It’s okay, I promise, I think you two are great for each other.” he turned to leave, “Oh and uh- glad to see you’re okay Nagito..” he said, walking away and shutting the door behind him.

I turned to Nagito, whose face was a bright red that I had never seen before. “You okay?” I asked him, eyebrows furrowing in concern.

He looked up at me, “Oh, yeah I’m good.. Sorry about all of that” he said,rubbing his arms.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Well I mean, if you weren’t in here with me Byakuya wouldn’t know you liked guys.. That’s what you’re scared of right, people finding out you aren’t straight?” he said, fiddling with the sleeves of the shirt he was wearing. He had looked back down at the ground in a nervous manner.

I stared, baffled at him for a moment, wondering how he had basically read my mind. “But it isn’t your fault Nagito..” I paused, not wanting the mood to become sad or tense, “Why don’t we go get ice cream with the others?” I asked, smiling gently at him.

He nodded, “Yeah, I would like that..”

“Great! Let’s get going then, shall we?” I asked, holding the door open in a gentlemanly way. He laughed, walking through the doorway and heading over to where the others were standing. They were in a small cluster around an ice cream stand, happily ordering away. “So, what are you thinking of getting?” I asked Nagito after we had joined the others.

“Mm.. I don’t know if I really want ice cream.. I was just following you really eheh” he said, sheepishly shrugging.

Nekomaru seemed to have caught the conversation and walked over to us. “Nagito! I can’t just stand here and hear you say these things! You're a twig, man! I carried you at the party Friday and I can tell that your body is probably screamin’ at you to eat!” he boisterously said, raising his fists in some type of power stance.

Nagito’s eyes widened as he took a step back, “Ah, I uhm-” 

“I’m not hearin’ it! We’re getting you the biggest thing on the menu, and you're gonna eat it all!” he said, not stopping for any stuttering interjections made by Nagito “I know a thing or two about athletes and keeping your body healthy, man. You better listen! None of us would want you just wastin’ away on us” he ended his small speech with a grand clasp on Nagito’s back. 

“Pfff not too sure about that-” Hiyoko laughed.

Mahiru quickly covered her mouth “Not the time, Hiyoko” she said sternly. Almost in a mother daughter way. I had always wondered about the relationship between those two, but I figured right now wasn’t the time to ask. 

“Uh, yeah, Nagito.. Nekomaru is right.. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you eat anything besides that donut the first time we met” Chiaki reluctantly said, offering a sympathetic look. Nagito looked overwhelmed at the sudden attention but nodded, his eyes wide.

“Y-yes.. Thank you all” he said, looking at the ground. His body was stiff as he anxiously rambled on, “Um, and I can pay for everyone’s, that is, if you want”

For a second the request caught me off guard but then I remembered what he had told me last night.. About his parents.. About the inheritance.. 

“That’s sweet of ya, but I think everyone has already paid, man” Nekomaru said, chuckling. Nagito looked flustered and nodded quietly.

A few minutes later, I walked over to Nagito with a large sundae in my hands, for us both, but obviously, I would make him eat more. Nagito was sitting on a beach chair with one pulled up right next to it, facing the water. He gulped in surprise then sheepishly smiled. “Ah, fun. I suppose ice cream on a hot day is pretty nice, right..?” he said, using his hand to block out the harsh sun from his eyes.

“Of course, that’s why.. I’m planning on us eating this whole thing.” I told him, putting it down in his lap and handing him a spoon. “Start eating, Ko”

He jumped slightly, probably at the cold bowl touching his legs then chuckled, “Of course” then took a bite of the chocolate ice cream. I sighed happily, content with the fact he was eating. 

He was a twig and since we were now closer.. It worried me that he wasn’t eating regularly. I bet silently to myself I could fit one hand around his whole thigh and chuckled at the thought. Humor to deal with this slightly concerning situation. I reached over and took a bite out of the strawberry ice cream. 

I stared off at the beach shore and realized everyone was doing their own thing. I seized the opportunity to lace my fingers with his, knowing nobody would see us. I scooted my chair closer and he slowly put his head on my shoulder, taking another bite of ice cream. I looked down at the sundae and realized it was slightly melting in the hot afternoon sun. I took another bite and hummed in a content manner.

The hot sun shone on us as we ate melted ice cream and talked about whatever came to mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I'm so bad at writing Nekomaru's character,,
> 
> Also I think I describe Nagito as sheepish like 5 times in this chapter


	10. Short of Breath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !TW: There's a pretty graphic depiction of a panic attack in this chapter!

Komaeda’s Pov  
Being with Hajime and the others.. It truly fills me with a sense of belonging that I haven’t felt in a long time. The class welcomed me with opened arms and they haven’t let me down or betrayed me at all, in any way..

They are all so caring..

But things like this.. They can’t last long. My cycle of luck has made that clear to me over the years. This good luck? This fortune and sense of belonging?

It won’t last. Good things keep piling up on each other, Hajime being romantically interested in me, the class caring about the little things down to my eating habits.. 

It’s too much.. If more good gets piled onto this cycle.. It’s going to continue..

Something bad is about to happen, and I can’t stop it, and it’s all my fault.

<>

After going to the beach with the others, Hajime and I headed to his house. We cleaned out the rest of his room and I helped him reorganize. That took a long while.. Then, Hajime’s father made us supper and we were off to bed again. Multiple times in a row Hajime has slept with someone as repulsive and disgusting as.. Me..

I don’t understand. I don’t get why he loves me like he does. Obviously, I love him in every way I can but for him to love me back..?

I just don’t understand.. 

After a couple hours of lying down, I noticed Hajime had fallen asleep. His grip around my waist was soft now, so I easily wriggled out of it. I didn’t know where I was going, but I needed to take a breather. 

I stepped outside, the sudden cold air made my head and my lungs hurt as I staggered down the porch steps. I rubbed my eyes and found that across the street, next to the beach there was a large hill, overlooking the softly lapping water. I think I had noticed it before but.. I wasn’t sure. Things like that never stood out in my mind. 

I crossed the street, starting to feel the air rapidly moving out of my lungs in a restrictive way. My eyes widened as I collapsed at the top of the hill, not able to get any air in. 

I sat there for a minute, struggling to breathe, staring at the stars as my eyelids grew heavier. I shakily reached a hand up and smiled softly at the stars. They shined brightly and I could still see them through my dark eyelids. 

I somehow caught my breath a little bit, my vision coming back to normal. My breathing was not normal in any way yet, but at least I wasn’t suffocating. I quickly realized I had somehow roped myself into a panic attack and sat up, folding my knees into my chest. I tangled my hands through my hair and lurched over slightly, feeling tears come to my eyes. 

Air was coming out of my lungs but not coming in, the stars were suffocating me as I tried to breathe. Dying in a field of stars, that’s how I thought I would die. I was dying, wasn’t I?

This was my punishment for opening up to others. This was my punishment for making friends and for others being nice to me.

“Komaeda-kun? Is that you?” I heard a soft female voice behind ask. The voice didn’t register in my mind as I just attempted to get more air in. Tears were still flowing down my face as I tightened my grip around the curls of my hair.

I heard soft footsteps come up behind me and felt a gentle touch on my shoulder. I smelt a light vanilla perfume on my right. I tried to look up and saw strands of pinkish hair waving in front of my face. As much as I wanted to call out to her, Nanami-san, I couldn’t. My breathing wasn’t working as I tried to speak.

All that came out was a sob and a breathy laugh. “Komaeda-kun.. What’s wrong? Are you okay?” she spoke in a soft tone, sitting down in the grass next to me. 

“I-” was all I said before my breathing sped up. “I can’t- nnh” I couldn’t speak as the world seemed to spin around me. I wasn’t real, I wasn’t there.. I can’t.

I felt the hand on my shoulder softly rub circles on my shoulder blade, “It’s gonna be okay.. You’re here right now, Komaeda-kun..” Out of the corner of my eye I saw her on her phone with her right hand. Probably texting someone…

She’s probably texting Hajime! I realized quickly, getting even more scared, feeling the tears on my cheeks drip onto my knees. 

Nanami: Hey, Hajime? I know it’s late but Komaeda and I are on the hill across from your house.. He’s having a panic attack and I’m not sure how to calm him down..

Tsumiki: Oh! Do you need me to come? I may be of help..

Nanami: Oh.. I didn’t realize I texted the group chat.. I’m sorry everyone if I woke you up

Twogami: We’re highschoolers, Chiaki, I don’t think any one of us were asleep. I do want to ask though.. Could you ask him to text us when he has calmed down? Just to soothe our nerves I suppose..

Hinata: I’m coming! Wait one second!

I saw Nanami-san look up from her phone and look at me with sad, scared eyes. Her thumb on my back pressed harder as she tried to drive me to reality.

I calmed down slightly, Nanami-san’s comforting touch was somehow grounding. “Oh, Komaeda-kun.. Are you with me now?” she asked, trying her best to offer me a comforting smile.

“I.. Um.. think so” I said slowly. I still felt a bit detached from the world, but I wasn’t completely gone. Suddenly, from behind I felt a pair of arms wrap around my shoulders. “Ah!”

“Nagito.. I was so worried when I read Chiaki’s text! Are you okay? Why did you come up here?” he asked, worry in his voice as it pitched up with every question. 

I couldn’t think what to say back to him for a minute, “I’m… sorry?” I said, confused, staring at the ground as Hajime hugged me as tight as he could. “I didn’t want to… wake you up just because I was having some anxiety..” I told him truthfully.

Chiaki and Hajime both stared at me with a confused look on their faces, “Nagito.. You weren’t just having a bit of anxiety, you were having a full panic attack.. What if something happened while you were up here? And I didn’t know that you were in trouble or something? Nagito I-” he trailed off, the lines in his forehead reflected his confusion and worry. “I know that you hate to trouble people with stuff like this but.. God, I thought we really made a breakthrough in that! I thought you trusted me!..” he spoke in a harsh tone, anger was reflected across his features now. 

Chiaki put her hand on Hajime’s shoulder now, “Hey hey, I don’t think you should be yelling at him right now, Hajime” she said, trying to calm him down.

“I know, I’m sorry, I just-” he cut himself off by shaking his head, “Sorry Ko. I’m just a bit tense right now. You know I would never mean to upset you” Hajime finished, his annoyed features looking down at the grass.

I nodded, my eyes going back and forth from his dejected face to the ground. “Y-Yeah.. I get it” I said, feeling something hot run down my cheeks as my voice broke off. I felt myself drifting off once again. Not in a panicked way, more in a.. Dissociative distance.

“Hey! Oh no.. Nagito, Ko.. I didn’t mean it, I’m sorry! I was just confused and upset, I didn’t mean to make you cry, oh god” he rambled on, falling to his knees in front of me and using his thumbs to brush the hot tears off my cheeks. I could feel his hands but I could barely register them in my mind.

“I’m not crying, I promise” I muttered, thinking for a second I was back at home. My aunt was screaming at me for something mundane. I stared into the distance, not blinking as I took her anger in, letting her scream all she wanted. “I know that boys don’t cry..” I whispered.

I felt the hands around my face shake for a second before wrapping around my torso, “You’re with me, Ko! Not anywhere else...please..” I heard a voice whisper before suddenly I was brought back to reality. I was suddenly over stimulated, everything around me was making me feel like I was being crushed.

“Nnn, Hajime? Ah, I’m sorry about that” I said quickly, feeling embarrassed from what just happened. Hajime stopped hugging me, staring at me with a worried expression. The anger I saw in him earlier was completely gone. “Ah, I’m sorry about crying and all that.. I should stop being so selfish, right? You should be able to show your emotions to me without me getting so worked up..” I muttered.

“Hey, now isn’t the time to worry about that stuff, okay? I’m just glad that you're alright right now” Hajime said. I nodded, wiping my face off. Hajime pulled me down and laid next to me. Chiaki laid down next to my other side. 

For a minute we all just sat there, staring at the stars. I was a bit confused about something though. “Hey, Chiaki? Why were you around this late? And um.. How did you think to text Hajime first?” I asked the pink haired girl lying next to me.

“Huh? Oh.. When I got back from the beach I took a nap and when I woke up it was late.. I couldn’t go back to bed so I went for a quick walk. I’m glad I did, though.” she said, looking over at me with a small smile. “And um, when we were at the beach I saw you two sitting together.. And when everyone was leaving I saw you go to Hajime’s house together so I kinda assumed…”

I nodded, “Thank you.. For your help.. Sorry I didn’t say that earlier. And um.. I don’t think either of us would want the others to find out just yet so do you think-”

“Of course I won’t tell.. Oh yeah, and Twogami-kun wanted you to text the group when you felt better, they’re worried, yknow?” 

I was taken aback for a second, “He wanted to make sure I was okay..? Oh..” 

I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and opened the group chat.

Komaeda: I’m okay now.. Thank you all for your concern :)

And with that short text I put my phone away, wanting to enjoy the moment with Chiaki and Hajime. We all laid there for a bit longer.

“Since we’ve got school tomorrow I think we should get going back. Night, Chiaki” Hajime said, slowly starting to sit up. I followed suit, and so did Chiaki.

“Yeah, see you tomorrow then” she said, walking down the hill and going in the direction of her house. 

Hajime and I slowly walked down the hill after her, after she was a bit out of earshot he leaned over to me, “I’m still sorry about yelling at you back there, I was just frustrated you didn’t wake me up or something..”

“It’s alright, Hajime, I never really took into account what you would think. I just didn’t wanna trouble you I guess, you looked peaceful sleeping. And, you can show your emotions too, yknow? I hate that you feel bad for expressing how you feel” I told him, following after him as we went inside his house. 

I felt exhausted after all of that. I was definitely ready to go to bed. “Hey, what time is it, anyway?” I asked Hajime when we made it to his room.

“Uh, looks like 1:30” he said, pulling out his phone to check.

“Haha, yeah we should get to bed then.” I said, lying down and feeling my eyelids already grow heavy. Hajime laid down too.

“Night, dork” he said as I slowly drifted off.

<>

I heard an annoying, loud alarm next to me, effectively doing its job at waking me up.

By my side, I heard Hajime groan, “Uhhg, I don’t wanna get up”

I chuckled, getting up and grabbing his arms, hoisting him up with me. “Cmon, we gotta get ready.” I said. Once I got him up, I went to my bag to get my uniform and went to the bathroom to change. From the other room, I could hear Hajime stumbling around, probably trying to get dressed. He really isn’t much of a morning person, huh?

Once I was done, I brushed my hair and teeth from the stuff I had packed in my bag. Then, I went to Hajime’s door and knocked.

“Mmm, come in” he said. I opened the door and saw he was fully dressed too. 

“You aren’t really a morning person on school days, y'know that?” I asked him playfully. 

He rolled his eyes, “Yeah, I know. I’m still tired” he said, starting to walk downstairs. I followed him. “My dad has to work today so it looks like cereal for breakfast”

“That’s okay, I’m not hungry,” I said, slinging my backpack over my shoulder.

Hajime turned around and stared at me with a blank expression, “I didn’t ask if you were, now what cereal do you want? ” he said.

I chuckled, “Okay, fine. Um, do you have lucky charms?” I asked.

“Yuh” he said, getting the box down and pouring the cereal into two bowls. Then, he got the milk out and poured that over the cereal. 

“A fellow man of culture” I said.

“Anyone who puts milk before cereal is wrong” Hajime muttered, getting spoons and then sitting down next to me with the cereal.

We talked a bit more and ate, laughing at random stuff that came to mind. 

“Ah crap, we should probably get going” Hajime said once we were both done. He grabbed both of our dishes and put them in the sink. We grabbed our bags and headed out the door.

<>

School was practically uneventful until lunch, I saw all the others and they asked me if I was okay from last night. Of course, I told them all yes. 

After they stopped asking, I went and sat down because my head was feeling a bit dizzy. I sat there for a minute, trying to get a hold of myself. I felt hot and my head was spinning, I could also feel a headache coming on. 

Hajime walked over to me, “Nagito? You good?” he asked, standing in front of the sun that was blinding me slightly earlier.

I nodded, ignoring the pain and smiling. “Yeah, just wanted to sit down” I said, “Nothing to worry about”

He looked worried for a second then composed himself, “Ah, yeah. Alright” and he walked back over to the others with a smile. I closed my eyes once again, leaning forward to put my head in my hands in an attempt to stop it from spinning so much.

“Nnn” I unintentionally groaned out quietly when the pain hadn’t subsided yet. I opened my eyes a slit, just to see if the others were going inside yet. But, to my surprise, some of them were standing in front of me. Chiaki, Hajime, Mikan, Byakuya, and Ibuki. Mikan was closest to me.

She must’ve asked me something I didn’t hear, because the next second she put the back of her hand on my forehead, “Um.. his head is a little hot” she said quietly to Hajime. She noticed my eyes, wide in confusion, “A-Ah! Sorry.. Hajime um.. Wanted me to see if you were sick o-or something.. You dont l-look so good” she stuttered quickly.

“Oh, I’m fine. Just a small headache” I said, trying to brush the others off with a sheepish smile. “I didn’t wanna worry any of you, it’s probably due to the sun being so bright or something” I told them, waving my hand in a ‘it’s no big deal’ type manner.

Chiaki and Hajime both sighed in a relieved way. I smiled at them again, “I’m okay” I said, trying to ignore the fact my head was spinning so bad my vision was blurred. “Is it time to go in yet?” I asked, standing up. I stumbled at first then shook it off, laughing.

“Yeah, we probably should,” Hajime told me, walking very close to me. It was clear he was trying to make me lean on him in case I stumbled again. I leaned on his shoulder very lightly, internally grateful for his small action.

I spent the rest of the day with a major headache, barely able to pay attention to anything the teachers were saying. I was so tired and hot the whole day. Sweating almost constantly and short of breath.

I had an idea of what was going on but I didn’t want to admit it to myself.

I thought I was getting better.. I thought I had finally won that battle..

Guess that’s just my luck, huh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I'm so bad at uploading I'm-


	11. Birthday party!

Hinata’s Pov  
After the incident with Komaeda and Chiaki.. I felt more worried about Komaeda than usual. It hurt seeing that he felt that he needed to hide his emotions from me, even after what I had supported him through. It seemed like there was always something hidden under his expressions. A secret or a piece of information he knew and I didn’t. I didn’t want to seem suspicious so I said nothing to him, not wanting to put a strain on our very new relationship.

The school week went by slowly, each day seeming to last just a little bit longer than it normally should. Nagito was back to staying with his aunt, much to my dismay. The good part is that he never came to school with a different mark or bruise from her. But, he did seem to be in pain, over something else maybe. The tall boy that I had spotted in the library that one day had nearly completely changed over the course of the week. Or was it that he was letting down his defenses? 

Either way, the others and I could tell he was in pain. He was squinting a lot, or fully shutting his eyes and gritting his teeth. Sometimes when he stood up, he would sway and nearly fall flat on his face, which he played off as low iron. These symptoms didn’t add up to anything particularly bad in my mind, but they still occupied a space in my thoughts. 

It was Friday when Sonia had told us her birthday was coming up. She invited us all out to the park to celebrate, wanting to get outside one last time before the weather turned cold. We all agreed, happily saying we would be there, wanting to celebrate the big event with her.

I remember looking over at Nagito’s pained expression. His eyes were shut tight and one hand was on his head, gripping at his hair. “Hey, are you alright, Ko?” I asked him carefully, putting a hand on his shoulder. He opened his eyes suddenly. 

“Ah? Yeah, I’m good” he said, a forced smile making its way to his face as he dropped his hand down. 

“So, are you down with going to Sonia’s party? I can drive” I asked him.

Ko nodded happily, “Of course, it’s an honor that she would invite someone like me. Thank you very much for offering to drive” he said, fiddling with his hands in his pockets.

“You know I don’t like when you say that stuff about yourself..” I muttered to him, sadly.

“Oh! I’m terribly sorry, Hajime” 

“It’s fine.. Uh, are you really sure you're okay though? I saw you earlier and you looked kinda stressed out something”

“Of course I’m fine. Hey, and just text me when you're on your way tomorrow, ok? See you later, Hajime” he said quickly before bounding off. He was definitely avoiding the subject for some reason..

Whatever the reason was, I decided not to pester him about it anymore. He must be getting annoyed with how much I ask him. That much is obvious by the way he ran away..

<>

I woke up the next morning with a sense of anxiety and excitement for Sonia’s party. I was sure it was going to be a great time, Sonia is an amazing friend and it’ll be so great to get together with everyone. This time, hopefully with no weird incidents like last time we hung out..

I decided to go with a light, thin button up with some khaki shorts. I was well aware that I looked like a frat boy in some ways, but I was sure it would be hot and I didn’t want to get overheated while hanging out. I combed through my hair and made sure it was styled in the way I liked it. 

After a few seconds of fidgeting with it, I got it to a manageable style and brushed my teeth. 

Sonia had said we would be meeting around 10am, and it was about 9am right now. This meant I had plenty of time to get ready and pick up Ko. When I was done brushing my teeth, I shot him a quick text, in case he was still asleep.

Hinata: I’ll be there in like 30 mins, make sure you’re ready!

I ran downstairs after sending the text to eat something. I grabbed a muffin from the counter and ran back upstairs to grab my keys. After snatching them off my desk I took one last look around my room to be sure I wasn’t forgetting anything that I would need. 

I realized Sonia probably would like a present, considering it is her birthday. So, I grabbed my wallet too, shoving it in my back pocket before finally leaving. My dad must’ve had to work today, because I didn’t see any sign of his car in the driveway. I shrugged it off and got in my own car. 

The morning radio was pretty enjoyable, so I set it to a station I enjoyed and began to drive over to Ko’s. I figured that once I picked him up, we could go and get the present together and say it was from both of us. Considering Ko probably also didn’t have a present so last minute. 

The drive was pretty lonely, I missed having Ko in my car already. It was like I had already grown so attached I couldn’t even drive alone like I had in the past. I sped up a bit more than usual, not really caring if I was a couple minutes early. I wanted to see my boyfriend. 

When I was in a less populated neighborhood on the way, I slowed and sent him a text stating I was 5 minutes away, just to give him some time to situate himself. I realized that he had left me on read with my last text which was very unlike him to do. 

Pushing aside my concern, I continued on the route until I reached his driveway. In case his aunt was home or something, I didn’t go up to knock, I just sent him another text while waiting in the car.

Hinata: I’m outside, you ready?

A few seconds later my phone buzzed with his response.

Komaeda: Yes, I’ll be out in one second.

I nodded, putting my phone down to wait. Just like he said, a couple seconds later he came out, dressed in an outfit that was probably too hot for this weather. Another pair of dark jeans, with a thinner long sleeved sweater. Of course, it was probably because he didn’t want to tell the others about his scars, but I was still worried about him overheating. Once he entered the car he breathed a sigh of relief.

He smiled, looking over at me, “Even being outside for those few seconds was hot. The air conditioning feels nice”

“You sure you don’t wanna change into anything lighter before we leave?” I asked him, turning the air conditioning up since he seemed to like it.

Ko shook his head, “No, I’m fine, thank you though.”

I nodded, shrugging “If you’re sure” I paused to start the car back up. “Uh, so I’ve gotta get Sonia a birthday present.. I can run into some store and get something and we can say it’s from the both of us?” I asked him.

Ko nodded, “Yeah, that sounds like a good plan, Hajime. What does she like?”

“Uh, well.. I was just gonna get her a gift card or something.. I don’t really know”

Chuckling, Ko put his hand over his mouth, “Of course. I don’t know her too well either, so that should work.”

“Alrighty then, let’s go” I said, reversing out of Komaeda’s driveway and starting down the road. Ko looked content in the passenger seat, the air conditioning blowing on his face and making his hair fly around crazily. I only let myself stare for a second longer before turning my attention back to the road. “So.. What type of gift card do you think she’ll like?” I asked Ko, still not letting my attention waver off the road. 

“Mmm.. maybe somewhere to a coffee place? I think I’ve seen her around school with a coffee cup in her hand multiple times” he stated, pulling something out of his back pocket. He handed me two bills for 2,000 yen. “Here. I can get it, if you’d like” he said, sounding so nonchalant about it. I shook my head.

“No no, let’s go halfway.” I handed a bill back to him and dug around in my pocket to look for one too, trying not to swerve. 

“Oh, okay. Well, I do hope that she likes it” he said, reluctantly stuffing the bill back into his wallet. 

I nodded, “I’m sure she will. She didn’t ask for anything specifically so I’m sure she will be glad we at least got her something” I said, turning into the parking lot for a popular coffee shop. “I’ll run in real quick, then we can go to the park. I’m sure people are starting to arrive.” I told Ko.

<>

Shortly after buying Sonia’s present, we arrived at the party. There were a few people in a small gathering when we got there, so we headed over to them. 

“Hello everyone!” Ko said happily, clasping his hands together. Sonia and a few others greeted us back, everyone seeing to be having a good time. 

I handed Sonia her gift, sheepishly smiling, “This is from Ko and I, it isn’t too much but I hope you like it” I chuckled.

Her eyes widened, “Oh! I didn’t expect this! I never specified for anyone to bring me presents, thank you both so much. No matter what it is I’ll love it coming from you two!” She seemed giddy and quite thrilled over what we had given her, it made me happy to see her so happy. “Well, I will open any presents I do get later when everyone is here, thank you both so much” she said, giving us a one armed hug at the same time. 

Soon after everyone had arrived, we all seemed to drift around and get into separate groups of people. I had been traveling around with Ko for a while, catching up with our classmates.

I was chatting with Teruteru when I realized that Ko hadn’t said anything in a while. I glanced around the park for him, wondering where he had scampered off to.

Finally, I spotted his fluffy white hair from underneath a large shady tree. A few others were sitting around him and I assumed they were eating or opening presents. “Hey Teruteru? I think I’m gonna go over and join them, check up on Ko and stuff, yknow?” I asked the shorter boy.

He nodded, grinning, “And you’d better eat something! I catered for this party” he told me, waving after me as I walked away. I chuckled, of course he did. When wasn’t he cooking for events and parties?

“Hey you guys” I said as I plopped down in between Ko and Chiaki. They both smiled back at me, Chiaki even taking a glace up from her DS. 

“Hi Hajime!” Ko and Sonia seemed to say in sync. They looked at each other in shock for a second before laughing. “So Sonia, were you going to do presents sometime soon? I think everyone has gathered..” Ko asked, taking a piece from an orange on a large chartreuse board that was in front of us, most likely arranged by Teruteru. I took a few crackers to munch on.

Sonia looked surprised, like she had just suddenly remembered, “Ah! Yes I probably should do that, I’m so grateful for all the gifts I received from you all, they do mean so much to me” she said sweetly, gathering together all her presents and calling the group over. 

Halfway through Sonia going through her presents, I felt a presence on my shoulder. I turned my head to see Ko’s head resting gently there. I thought he was sleeping for a second before realizing that his eyes were open. He looked almost sick, and was swaying a bit as if he were dizzy as well. I whispered gently to him, “Hey Ko? You alright?” I asked him.

He seemed to barely acknowledge my question before trying to stand up, getting onto his feet and almost immediately swaying forward to land into my lap. I stared at him for a second, in shock of what had just happened. Sonia had stopped looking at her cards and such as everyone else looked over to see what the noise had been. Small gasps rippled through everyone as they looked over at Ko who had suddenly fallen down.

Mikan immediately stood up, coming over to see what had happened. She gently shook him a small amount and studied him over. She looked slightly panicked, “E-Eek! It seems that u-um Nagito has f-fainted. Hajime did you um, notice anything off about him b-before he fainted?” She asked me while softly pressing her fingers to Ko’s neck to check his pulse. Her eyes focused on him intently.

I swallowed, feeling everyone’s eyes on me, “W-Well no! He was resting his head on my shoulder and tried to stand up suddenly. Then he fainted!” I said, rambling, just hoping that he was okay. It was hard to catch my breath out of panic.

Mikan gulped and looked up at me, “Ah, o-okay, um you should probably try to take him to the hospital! Because I’m n-not sure why he fainted or anything, so just in case” Mikan said.

“But- Sonia.. Your party, I don’t wanna just leave like this..” I said, dejectedly. Sonia looked at me sternly.

“No! Don’t feel bad at all Hajime! Nagito needs your help, please take him to the hospital, we’re worried about him” she said, “We can continue here, I’ll save some cake for you two!” She said, giving me a comforting smile. I nodded, picking up the fainted Nagito and swiftly taking him to my car. I raced to the driver's seat and swiftly started the car. Sweat running down my face, I was so scared something bad had happened to him.

“Don’t worry Ko, were on our way to the hospital. You’re gonna be okay I promise”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, I'm not sure what to say besides that I'm really, really sorry for going on that really long, sudden hiatus. I appreciate all of you commenting and still supporting this work despite me being long so gone. You all really have motivated me to finish this and I'm trying my best! I have just a small filler chapter while we get into the true angst ahah. I hope that you all continue to support me and this fic till the end!  
Thank you all so much again, and I am so very sorry.


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